this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

He jacked himself off! Or got a computer to jack him off. Maybe he wrote a script that just automatically jacked him off after dinner.

Or maybe Agent Smith... Or perhaps three or four Agent Smiths all claiming to be Italian brothers jacked him off in a changing room... just to make sure he got out.

I reckon you could do it is all I'm saying.

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Say "jacked him off" one more time.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Maybe one of the Agent Smiths takes on the form of Hugh Jackman, and they all call him "The Strong Brother" and he lets you rub his back (which is really well muscled)...

And him, and Hugo Weaving's three characters all:

Hugh you off.

Wait, what were we talking about?

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Hm, would it be "Agents Smith" in this case?

[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

You beat me to it. If only I came quicker, I wouldn't have to take it on the chin. Now I'm beating myself up about it.