this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2025
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[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

The length of a message doesn't imply the amount of thought that went into it.

Thats horseshit and you know it, come on.

These are extremely boring, ho-hum questions which required no thought or creativity.

Again, yes, they are basic, not very creative questions.

But they could be so much worse.

'Hey'

'Sup'

'Whatcha up to?'

... at least the questions this guy is asking indicate he has actually read her profile.

In a very balanced way, we can understand that no-effort initiations will result in no-effort responses.

No, she is putting in even less effort.

...

As to your entire second paragraph:

Ah, yes, heteronormativity exists, therefore we should all just keep doing that.

Its the mans job to perform safe masculinity by being entertaining!

Be genuine?

No! Bad!

Be more flirty and fun than you normally are, that certainly won't set any false expectations!

... Your prescribed approach here, from or for both sexes/cisgenders, is generally going to create failed chat logs with one or another person blocking or ghosting the other, in all cases other than 'the man is a total pushover simp', which uh, most heteronormative women find disgusting, in terms of their view toward such a person, they won't respect him at all and will come to despise him or at the very least become very bored and unsatisfied.

So you promoting a strategy that will not work well at all for heteronormatives, and your reasoning underlying why this must be the paradigm is that heteronormativity exists and is mainstream.

This is a self defeating and contradicting total concept.

In the medium to long run, it doesn't work for heteronormatives, or anyone else, as a widely normalized.... norm of how dating app chats should work.

The only thing it even kind of works for is basically flings, short term relationships, and most of those will become confused and unstable 'situationships'.

This is a terrible paradigm for anyone looking for a longer term partner.