this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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Honestly so happy I’m married, I’m sorry for all of y’all. Dystopian times.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
At the same time, porn and propaganda have put bad expectations in some percentile of dumb men.
Both sexes are generally out of social practice, and societal trust is at an all time low. Most people are nice, but most people are also awkward.
So get out there and meet some people, don’t even do so romantically, just go learn how to interact with people, form some friendships.
came back to this thread to find discourse that ISN'T cancer. thank you for your sane and gentle response. if more people had your empathy, less of them would be single and hurting.
This is the case with literally everything.
Used to hear about "no-go zones" in Stockholm in my local news a lot, areas where even the Swedish police were afraid to go in to. Then a friend of mine moved to Stockholm and started going to "the worst no-go zone" every weekend to get fresh produce. The only time he felt in danger was when he stumbled upon a drunk countryman.
Going out nowadays doesn't work anymore. Things have changed dramatically in the last few decades.
Well what defines going out? There are plenty of board game meet ups, even if you don’t especially like board games I would posit that it’s not an objectively negative experience; so if you must hold you nose and go anyway, do so.
Secondly, although this is coming from my experience in America, so your millage may vary, there’s tons of outdoor activities and groups: go for a hike, go backpacking.
You don’t need special equipment, you don’t need to buy anything. Just a water bottle, backpack, tent/tarp, and some non perishable foods and you’re good to go.
It’s true that the convenient third places of yesterday have seemingly vanished; but people are still out there.
I used to hike a lot but these days it's incredibly difficult to find people to hike with, they're usually at least twenty years older than me and not in the best shape anymore which rules out difficult routes. And everywhere else there are masses of stupid tourists and influencers stumbling around in their flip-flops (Because of course you wear flip-flops in the alps!), throwing trash everywhere and yelling into their smartphones when filming themselves which ruins the experience. Board and card game groups also died out in the early 2010s, that was just a short hype. A lot of things disappeared without replacement.
Hmm well I can’t speak for Europe, but plenty of chill people to go hiking with in the US, plus it might not be the most challenging stuff maybe but I’ve hiked out of the grand canyon with my friends 70 yo grandma so if you want the social aspect you can still do challenging things just maybe go a little slower. Also again don’t know about Europe but there are like five weekly board game meetups in my decent sized city.
Isn't the Grand Canyon also overrun with tourists and influencers?
Man you seem to be very negative about this.
I guarantee you that most tourists don’t even leave the rim of the grand canyon at all. They walk around the visitors center for an hour and go home. Go more than 1000’ down from the rim and it’s not particularly crowded at all.
I can’t comment on Europe, like the previous poster—America has far more wide open wilderness than Europe does in general—but if in the USA there are still countless places where you can backpack for days without seeing a single person. There are also plenty of easier hikes with beautiful views that only see a few visitors a day. Just need to put in the footwork to find them. You won’t find them by staying at home and complaining about other hikers.
That sounds great, I would love to see the Grand Canyon. But here in the alps - you have no idea. It's ridiculous, there is so much overtourism now, it literally exploded in the last ten years. Now I try to find new areas far away from those people. I wished I had access to one of those ISP maps showing statistics about connected devices. But insects work too, the more insects you encounter, the further you are from "civilization".
The GRAND Canyon is... actually, very, very, VERY Grand.
It's a huge place, bigger than any I've ever experienced before or since. Considering it "overrun" with... anything would be quite a feat. You could fill it with everyone in America and you'd still have space left over for two or three California Condors.
The alps are not exactly small either. But somehow you keep running into tourists and influencers constantly.
I mean I used to wear flip flops hiking all the time but I'm guessing you mean a different type since I would wear them transitioning between land and water without losing them.
Hobby clubs are great for meeting new people, just don't join them for the explicit purpose of meeting potential partners.
Going out to talk with people is now impossible because everyone busy for themselves .