this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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That's not sexist at all
Women would literally rather be stuck with a bear rather than a man they do not know. So, is it sexism? Or is there a fundamental problem (read patriarchy) that makes women scared of men.
Do you think it’s sexist to report that men commit 90% of all rape and sexual assault?
People ask less questions if you shoot a bear.
Its about as sexist to say that, as it is racist to spout crime statistics about black people without solution.
Okay not sexist at all then. Because there’s nothing racist about crime statistics about black people.
What people might do or say in regards to those statistics is typically where the racism comes in.
In a thread where the discussion is men, spouting statistics without solution is prejudicial.
Just like it would be racist to do the same thing with black people.
You're being purposefully ignorant of the current thread we are in.
Oof. I really shouldn’t have to explain the systemic difference between the two.
Also once again, this comic is making the joke that a strange man could be a rapist, and that women are not interested in strange men the same way men may be interested strange women - not that all single men are rapists.
You’re purposefully conflating this comic to the level of hating men, and then to the level of using crime statistics to perpetuate systemic racism. Brother you’ve lost the plot.
Is the patriarchy not a systemic issue?
Bringing up statistics without a solution is problematic, to say the very least.
If you have issue with that statement, then you may need to rethink your approach.
YES! We’re getting to the same page. The difference is the patriarchy defends itself. I’ve never seen a black person fight to defend systemic racism.
But I have seen black people defend themselves when someone brings up crime stats without solutions or discussions of the systems in place.
Weird how that works huh?
Men, particularly the vast majority of working class men, are victims of the patriarchy even at the same time they receive privileges. There's an unfortunate sentiment among the woke that people who happen to be part of a privileged group are bad. White people are colonizers, straight people are toxic, men are all violent sexual predators, etc. For a lot of people, it's much easier to be woke and fight for an equal and just world when the victims of that oppression are obvious.
If this exact same comic was made by JK Rowling and replaced "men" with "trans women" or "trans men" the comments section would be (rightfully) shooting it down as being bigoted.
All that aside, from a practical standpoint it's also worth pointing out that any sexual assault expert will tell you the vast majority happen between people who already know each other. A victim is more likely to be abused by their own family members, family friends, teachers, religious figures, youth leaders, coworkers, or significant other than they are a random stranger. Of course, it's always dangerous to meet strangers (robbery, fraud, and more).
Which is important to point out because it's a very quick jump from "women don't feel safe because of all of these men around" to "well let's get rid of the most violent men". Which, oddly enough, tend to also be a part of whatever group they are trying to eliminate. Jews in pre-WW2 Germany, black men in America, communists in McCarthyism, Hispanics under Trump, Syrian refugees in Europe. It always starts with "this group wants to hurt our women and children" and ends with everyone losing rights to authoritarian regimes.
Omg we’re so close! Yes they defend themselves because those statistics are being used as weapons in furthering systemic racism. Us making fun of men (once again, not happening in this comic) does nothing but damage the patriarchy, which we agree is good right?
To be clear, when we shit on bad men - I do want there to be nuance that we are specifically talking about bad men. This comic doesn’t need that because he’s either a rapist or he’s not - but it doesn’t matter because he’s still a stranger and that MAY be dangerous.
Yeah, man, we were so close.
And then you went back to being sexist.
Oh well...
It was nice talking to you. Maybe one day you'll be able to see you're being sexist by having negative attitudes attached to gender instead of other contributing factors like socioeconomic status or substance issues
I'm a man. I like being a man. I like the other men in my life. I'm not being sexist, and neither is this comic. You claim I have a negative attitude attached to a gender... I've only criticized rapists. Is hating rapists equivalent to hating men? I've been very clear in my beliefs and why I hold them, and all you've done is some racial what-aboutism. Seriously man, have a think about this one. We're on the same side - the difference being when I see stuff hating on men, I blame the men that give us a bad name, not the women that have chosen to be cautious around men for their own safety. If I ever encountered a woman scared by my presence, I wouldn't get upset and think "wow what a bitch she hates men just for being men". I would become saddened that the world we live in puts women in a position that they fear men.
It's because of these factors that there is nuance with these kinds of jokes.
That is way more than just patriarchal society. If a woman would rather be stuck in a room with a bear than a man she doesn't know, there's something psychologically wrong with that woman.
The only way you'd choose a bear over a stranger is if you have a prejudice that all men are violent or rapists. Because the bear will most likely kill you.
Bears are predictable, they will probably run from you or maul you. They don’t kill for pleasure, they don’t keep you alive for a game, they don’t torture you.
The point is a women doesn’t know you, or what your capable of. They do know what bears are capable of.
Women are painfully aware it’s “not all men”. But women also can’t read minds and don’t know your intentions. Can you really blame someone for erring on the side of caution?
Choosing the bear over a stranger isn’t prejudice, it’s avoiding the fear of the unknown.
You're giving too much credit to bears. They can chomp your face just because they feelt like it, or out of pure curiosity, and won't even notice you struggling to fight them off. Check some stories of zookepers and circus workers killed by them, you'll find that wild animals are completely unpredictable.
Calling bears predictable is something an overconfident documentary actor would do. A bear can at any moment decide to just rip you apart. Any "docile" zoo bear can still decide to just shred their keeper at some point.
But that's enough about the metaphor. The point was choosing between certain death and a human with all the possibilities that entails.
It wouldn't just be caution to choose death in that situation. It's paranoia to assume that any random man will just do horrible things to you. Going through life with that paranoia is nothing a mentally healthy person would do. I would definitely blame a woman who really thinks like that. It's not just crazy but also insulting on a personal level. But the good thing is that I don't have to be near any like that either.
In college, I saw a sign that said something like 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted. Based on conversations with women around me and my own experiences, I’m pretty sure it’s actually 6 in 6 women.
Before you get upset, yes, I am aware men get assaulted too. That’s not okay either.
I agree with this. Problem is that it is not done by most men, but this post makes it seem like most of them do or want to.
Interesting. I interpreted it differently.
I saw it as women experience assault at such high levels, that they feel unsafe around strangers.
Whereas, men see it as an exciting opportunity, full of possibilities. Not necessarily that they intend to commit assault.
The people commenting on the post are making this implication, the comic itself is bland and dumb and has been overplayed for the last 30 years as a pretty standard joke about the differences between men and women and doesn't really make a suggestion beyond "men and women have different concerns."
The problem is we are all internalizing both perspectives in the most toxic, anti-social ways imaginable and isolating ourselves more and more and making the divide worse and worse every year.
This post makes it seem that women need to prepare for assault even if not everyone will assault them.
I am a woman. Have been assaulted. I lock my doors.
This is like saying that recognizing gay people are assaulted more often is homophobic
You've fallen for the classic blunder.
By jumping in and commenting, you have proven them right in their minds.
It's a thought terminating trap. Women are allowed to call out sexism when they see it against themselves, whereas men are not allowed to call out sexism when they see it against themselves.
One user called me a rapist for this. Like wtf. How anything defending men can be converted to men are rapist pigs, is fascinating.
The reason these conversations are so unproductive is because some people take the wildest read of these jokes ("all men are rapists") and get offended by them, when the surface reading ("men like the idea of meeting a random woman, women do not like the idea of meeting a random man") is crystal clear and non-controversial. This joke could be from a Seinfeld opening monologue, it's such a generic piece of observational comedy.
It takes five minutes to find data that shows that this is very much not sexism.
What data?
Number of dangerous outcomes when meeting a new person in a date by gender.
Violent crime by gender.
Rape events by gender.
Domestic break and entering by gender.
Pick your favorite?