I’ve always been multi-faceted, but it’s trapped in a brain that fucking squanders it. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 90s. Programmer for decades; sang in a band; been drawing off and on since I was a kid; have an insane ear for following drum arrangements and knowing what’s coming; ice and inline skater since I was a child (grew up playing hockey).

No energy or drive to put all of it to use. Terrible student and traditional teaching environments have never worked for me. I was always labeled “lazy” or hit with the same “he has potential, but […]” bullshit. Programming and computer science stuff were the only things that really panned out for me. Managed to make a career out of it, despite having garbage grades, so that’s been the upside. But I always have those daydreams that crop up where I wonder what could’ve been if I had stuck more heavily with hockey, singing, or art.

Regardless, I’m in my 40s now and I like who I’ve become at the end of it all, I still skate, and I’ve been getting back into art again. You have to keep reminding yourself that everyone’s measure for success is different and you have to refrain from attaching that success to some bullshit capitalist-driven metric that ultimately means fuck all.