this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
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Scientist here. I would help, but I'm only a wood scientist, not a cat scientist. And in my professional opinion, trees are very different from cats.
Hey can you step inside this white van real quick? There are... undiscovered... trees... in there. Definitely nothing nefarious or cat immortality related.
Mwahaha! I can see through your ruse! I'm not a tree scientist, I'm a wood scientist! I'm only interested in trees AFTER they're cut down. I have no use for undiscovered trees. Bring me more Douglas fir wood and we can talk!