memes

Again, if you can't beat someone who has been dealing with a couple dozen people AND their kids all rushing the counter to watch someone operate a 3 pan pipeline... it doesn't take much effort. Nonstick pans are the cheat mode of eggs but there is a lot to be said about enough butter that even a Frenchman will give you the side eye.

I've definitely dined at some in-hotel restaraunts that were damned amazing. But a general rule of thumb is that if you can see the chef cooking (and it isn't a hole in the wall where the floors are sticky), you are getting chain restaurant food. Part of that is because they fundamentally can't let pans get hot enough (people get pissy when they see an open pan) so everything is non-stick and cooking spray and just a bit oily tasting. Part of it is also that they can't use the "secret ingredients" like MSG or fish sauce or whatever because, at best, it leads to questions from the lookiloos and, at worst, it leads to aggressive racism. Same with the eggs. You either have everything pre-beaten (which often means it was powdered to begin with...) or you just get a quick mix because, again, you can't have empty pans when there is a queue. Same with dicing onions and peppers versus pre-dicing (again, often frozen) and tossing with a preservative so they won't oxidize. And while I've noticed a shift over the past decade or so (I weirdly credit Brooklyn 99), even something like a salt cellar is hit or miss because most people don't realize that salt is inherently anti-microbial so it is fine to finger it and that you can't season from a shaker.

Don't get me wrong. I am right there with the crowd to get some avocado toast in an Admiral's Club. That shit is good. But you are also always fundamentally looking at something that isn't that hard to beat.

And there is a lot to be said about making your own omelettes... or making omelettes for the person who let you do stuff to them last night.