this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2025
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depression rant
I have been so utterly depressed. Everything is a damn effort, and I just cannot seem to motivate myself to do anything that would help me. I hate being self-aware enough to see that I'm not helping myself, but still so affected by depression that that doesn't motivate me either.I feel like I've wasted my time, with everything, and I still am. That I will never get ahead or be anything worthwhile of anything good. I see others persevering through their hard times and I just can't. Am I just lazy, even though I want to be better than I am? Am I making this up as an excuse? Am I just destined to never better myself and be even a modicum of successful? My partner has a job, and is dealing with their mental health. Why can't I? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be like those with the strength to help themselves? Why do I have this mental block to helping myself????
I know what I need to do, I just needed to vent.
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