this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2025
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depression rant
I have been so utterly depressed. Everything is a damn effort, and I just cannot seem to motivate myself to do anything that would help me. I hate being self-aware enough to see that I'm not helping myself, but still so affected by depression that that doesn't motivate me either.I feel like I've wasted my time, with everything, and I still am. That I will never get ahead or be anything worthwhile of anything good. I see others persevering through their hard times and I just can't. Am I just lazy, even though I want to be better than I am? Am I making this up as an excuse? Am I just destined to never better myself and be even a modicum of successful? My partner has a job, and is dealing with their mental health. Why can't I? What is wrong with me? Why can't I be like those with the strength to help themselves? Why do I have this mental block to helping myself????
I know what I need to do, I just needed to vent.
It's really hard when your brain is what you need and it's sick. Hugs. May it pass soon.
Feels
Iโm just gonna counteract this self-judgement by telling you that this could be a freeze trauma response and you did cop a severe trigger recently.
Go easy on yourself.
Shit is demoralising
so many hugs
sometimes depression doesn't match where we are in life , doesn't reflect reality, who we are nor reflect our possible futures, it's not unusual for successful or happy people to suffer depression
but it is very hard to not believe what depression tells us because the voice of depression seems to be our own voice
Ignore the voice, it's just rogue ideas from who knows where and when. Listen to partner and those who love you.
Another thing is you don't have to believe in yourself to do things. Just do them.
so many many hugs , you are loved here ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ
Hard relate. Hang in there ๐