this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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It's funny, I have never been comforted by that. I don't think I've truly faced and accepted a single loss in my life, I just avoid the pain as much as I can and try not to ever think about it (it's all I think about).
I've found it helpful for lancing the feelings of loss and pain from otherwise positive memories. I want those memories, and I don't want them poisoned by the negative feelings. By going through them I can decouple them from the loss and express that. It also lets me vent it in a controlled way.
My mind loves to keep me locked into the negativity, if I tried this I suspect I wouldn't be able to not just fall into the dark.
Everyone is different, and that's ok. It might be worth considering however. I know for me, the negativity will linger until I express it. Having another person around also acts as an emotional regulator. Their emotional reaction to your stories acts to restabilise your own.
Negativity and negative thoughts often grow in the shadows. By pushing straight into them, you can often resolve and disperse them. They exist to make you confront something. Once you've done that, their existence is no longer required, and it's easier to let them go.
A few drinks, or some ice-cream traditionally helps this process.
As I said, everyone is different, so what works for others, might now work for you. It's worth considering however, if it can help free up the good memories.