Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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I Need Wedding Advice (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 21 hours ago by VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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So, I'm going to be the best man in my friend's wedding. I'm very flattered to have the honor. He's one of my closest friends, and I have no problem supporting him as his best man/best trans.

Furthermore, I'm out to him, and he has made it clear that he wants me to show up in whatever way makes me the most comfortable. I've picked out a dress, started taking voice lessons, and plan on getting my hair and makeup done professionally.

I don't feel dysphoric at all about filling a traditionally male role, but...

How the fuck do I write a speech? A lot of best men seem to give speeches that joke about their 'bromance' with the groom and all that, which I find to be wholly inappropriate in my scenario.

My first thought was poking fun at picking a woman for best man, but some of his family are transphobic and I don't want to rely on gender humor out of fear that they stew in their transphobia and say something to ruin his wedding. Then I thought maybe I could crack a joke or two about being trans - but I also don't want to lean into the self-deprecation so much that I validate anyone's transphobia.

So, how do I even approach this?

I was thinking I could open with, "When the groom asked me to be his best man, I said, 'sit down, there's something you should know.'"

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but this is a friend who has been there for me in the past. I want to fill my role in his wedding perfectly. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

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[–] endlessvoid@lemmy.today 5 points 15 hours ago

Don't acknowledge it at all, you dont owe the guests any explanation about yourself. Just focus on the couple and let anyone who wonders about your gender presentation puzzle it out on their own time.