this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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Here I am going to be the distasteful contrarian progressive, but it's because I'm desperately hoping people see that the difference isn't dating.
Because yes, you are right, as a single progressive man, dating is no walk in the park. Plenty of good reasons for this on the side of women.
Are you lonely as termed by the actual problem of male loneliness? Do you have at least a couple of friends who you can get to lunch with? Do you have a brother, sister, cousin, parents, etc. nearby? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Do you have an active social group you feel included in?
If the answer to them is no, then yes, definitely you are in the loneliness group. Sure, dating can help with it - but what happens if/when you break up: you don't have the support there.
I'm really worried about how people are continuing to separate and blame things that aren't the root of problems on distractions.
Like I get it. I'm there. I'm divorced, I'm coming to terms that I was in a 15 year abusive relationship, I'm hurt by her cheating on me twice, I'm hurt by her rejecting my joys and attempts at connecting and reconnecting, I miss the idea of being with her. It's been over two years since I slept next to her, or anyone.
She tried to isolate me. She love bombed me. She gaslit me. She threatened me.
But I had a kid, I have my parents, my brother, several friends, a couple of regular groups I meet up with. I desperately want the love life I pretended to have. But if it weren't for that support system in place, I would have killed myself two years ago.
Instead I lost the weight that was actually killing me. I put muscle on where I've had none. There are physical features I cannot change that affect my physical attractiveness that I get that will impede my ability to date via apps.
That's how I was able to figure this all out. The fact that you are progressive means that you see the value in other people, and see the value in connection.
There has been narratives pushed for decades to try and isolate us, gaslight us, and threaten us as humans. We need to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others.