this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025
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Exploring sexuality within a closed monogamous relationship. Questions(s)? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org
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So, I realized a Lil while back, (2+y) I'm mtf trans. My spouse and I have been together ~16 years and now she's committed to seeing this through and seeing how things end up because she loves me, not my flesh necessarily. But, she's concerned because we grew up with a very strict, conservative, religious background and did always consider ourselves cishet.

She loves me for me, but is worried about the future and super curious about exploring her sexuality to figure out if she's as straight as she thought (she's also had some do I want her or to be her thoughts).

Main point is, does anyone have any suggestions for how she can explore and figure things out without opening the marriage, and preferably without porn?

I'm still struggling to understand the romantic and sexual attraction spectrums and where I fit in the, but she seems very high on the romantic spectrum as in, she can't imagine being intimate without a serious relationship.

I don't know. I'm just looking for options to help her figure herself out, and us out, while I figure myself out too.

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[–] HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Yep. In regards to the "find a sex club" comment, you don't necessarily have to participate; you can probably simply watch/socialize with others.

One more thing, since you mentioned a religious upbringing: assuming your upbringing was Christian and you still consider yourself Christian, and you/your spouse don't mind reading books, I can offer some recommendations that I would consider supportive and affirmative.