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you think people who don't believe in free will shouldn't express their ideas or beliefs in order to be consistent with a lack of belief in free will?

No, just that their ideas and beliefs should be consistent with their states ideology.

Pure determinism isn't my stated belief. I said I don't believe in free will. You are adding to what I said again, pulling stuff out of thin air.

I didn't say what type of determinism you adhere to, if you read what I said it states "most forms of determinism".

free will: What exactly is our will free from?

Lol, that's a bit of a pedantic tool to evaluate of determinism. However in simple terms free of the concept of predetermination.

Random chance doesn't mean free will either. I don't believe in some meta-physical super natural aspect of our will either but even if there was, that still wouldn't mean we have free will either.

I don't have the ability to choose between different courses of actions, or have the agency to control my own actions to fulfill a personal sense of morality?

its the nature of choice and how its a completely meaningless illusion. The main impact on morality it would have is in terms of justice and how society functions

Maybe if morality were determined solely by legality, and if we only examined ones own actions on a grand societal scale.

on a interpersonal level that you forgive yourself and others because no one chooses to be born.

Just because you didn't choose to be born doesn't mean you don't get to choose how to navigate your own life.

No one chooses to be who they are, we don't choose our parents, our bodies, our brains.

Lol, yes you can choose who you are. We are a collage of our own actions and we are able to choose how we react to different scenarios throughout our lives. We may not get to choose who are parents are, but we get to choose what kind of relationship we have with our parents. The same goes with our body, even if born with an innate disability, we choose how we respond and adapt to the disability.

We are shunted into existence and expected to perform life and to take responsibility for it

And yet everyone still has the choice to take responsibility or not. Expectations are not an undeniable demand. We even have the choice of deciding if we even want experience life, suicide is often a choice.

Do you actually think that's the reason? I'm pretty sure its because men have to try a lot harder.

Why do men choose to try a lot harder....? It's not like there vastly more men than women, or that our innate biological imperatives are different.

Its not only that, but that's a major component. Yeah.

Lol, so you've been making a fuss for nothing?

I never said that I thought I was entitled to that woman. If I thought I was entitled to her I would have kept asking her out or insisting on her dating me.

Then why did she make you so upset? Do you have to avoid every attractive woman you see? There is more to this than "she's so pretty it hurts".

I fundamentally disagree with criticism of individuals this way. I think things need to be solved systematically or technologically. Not with psychoanalysis or "pulling ourselves by our boot straps" or whatever.

Seems like a complex way to avoid any sense of person responsibility..... I mean things like talk therapy have years of scientific evidence to support itself as a valid form of treatment. I don't really think your beliefs align themselves with reality.

So yeah, when you argue with me and you decide to angle it based on me individually and my individual faults and personal defects and I'm just a bad person, I just fundamentally disagree on the very basis of your engagement with the topic.

"I cannot be judged by my own actions" is kinda a crazy take. I wonder why you have a hard time finding a romantic partner......?

^don't need your pity to know I'm right or wrong about something. I want you to argue against my points

Your point has shifted goal post so hard that it has nothing to do with the original prompt. We are now in the territory of you not believing in people being held responsible for their own actions.....

want you to challenge my ideas. I'm not particularly interested in talking about me other than as example/anecdote for my own arguments (which is why I brought up the personal example). If I have "unhealthy opinions" I want to know specifically what they are and then I can either realize I'm objectively wrong or I can retort with some argument.

You already dropped the entire original argument. Which was based on the post claiming it's not about sex. You've already admitted nits mostly about sex.

^personally am indeed incredibly depressed (which relates to the self depreciation) but not because of lack of sex. I mean I was depressed in the past because of that when I was still figuring things out maybe but now its because Trump won a second time and that's kind of permeated and filtered how I see people in general. And I mean, also my life sucks and I legitimately resent having been born but none of that is relevant to the current topic of male loneliness in of itself.

I mean.... Maybe your fundamental beliefs are not condusive to maintaining your mental health. I would highly suggest you choose to talk to a mental health professional about it, which is statistically proven to help.

Your beliefs seem to have painted your mental health into a corner with no room for improvement. At some point everyone needs to take some level of personal responsibility in their lives, and sometimes that personal responsibility comes in the form of accepting you have negative attributes that you need to address in a healthy way.

What else could I have materially done? Its not like I could just delete the emotions and just pretend I was fine to chit chat with her at the water cooler or something.

You don't have to delete emotions, you process them. Evaluate why you are actually feeling that way, and if that is a reasonable way to to feel in the given circumstances. Why were you upset? Does it make sense to feel upset just because someone is attractive, does that happen to you every time you see someone attractive?

Once you figure out the reason you are feeling those emotions they are easier to manage and control. Emotions don't just happen to you, they are how you respond to stimuli, meaning you have control over them.

being autistic tends to make me pretty weak at reading people probably on average but I'm probably a bit better than the average autistic person. I'm a very extroverted autistic person. Despite the nihilism and politically induced misanthropy.

Both my wife and I are autistic, it's not a valid reason to shirk personal responsibility. In fact, unfortunately it means you have more responsibility to evaluate your own emotions and behavior to make sure you don't hurt people's feelings. It's a lot of work, but it is completely manageable. As an older autistic person I can basically guarantee your coworker noticed your behavior.

rejected me who I badly wanted to be with romantically would have been good for me and my heavily obsessive and ruminating autistic brain.

Right, and how long have you been ruminating on it since? How long ago was it, and how many potential relationships did it prevent you from building since then? What goes through your brain when you think about approaching a different attractive lady?

If you don't confront, process, and learn how to heal from harmful complex emotions you will never escape them.

Avoidance was a lesser evil. I have experience enough to know that.

Only because you haven't learned a better coping skill.

There is a difference between very attractive and "I want to die when I see them" level of physical attraction.

That's called obsession, and is often one of the bases of the OCD, autism, and ADHD triad that many people have to learn to deal with.

We will never ever meet. I don't care about your opinion of me. I am not important. Neither are you.

You don't have to actually care about my pity. I'm guessing it's a reflexive avoidance behaviour you utilize to most criticism you experience.

I am not important. Neither are you

I am important not the people I care about, and I hope you are as well.

care that I am correct that men are fucked by romantic loneliness right now and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps is not a viable solution.

Fucked by who? It seems the major impediment isn't something society can really change for you.

Pulling yourself up by the boot straps is an analogy meant to represent something impossible, no one is asking you to do that. I just recommend learning to get back on your feet after being knocked down for whatever reason.

She is almost certainly fine. She is not a baby. She is an adult woman who had her own life going on.

So is it okay to hurt people if the damage is not permanent?

Me keeping things strictly bare minimum and professional was perfectly reasonable

I don't see how it was an act of responsibility if it wasn't even really socially acceptable.

What do you want from me?

What I want from all young people, to take some responsibility and attempt to do the best they can.

Are you a psychologist or something?

I work in healthcare, specifically with a lot of patients who have physical and mental disabilities.