this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Fake: Anon goes outside

Gay: Gardening (? idk this one is a struggle)

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 14 points 19 hours ago

Gardening is gay because of roses. Gardens often contain roses, the Japanese word for rose is bara. Barazoku, meaning the rose tribe was Japan's first gay magazine. The magazine was named so because the rose is a prominent symbol of male homosexuality in Japan. This is because of the Greek myth of King Laius who would have affairs with boys under rose trees. You might argue that gardening is not gay if the garden includes no roses but you would be wrong. Roses grow in soil, the word soil is gay. Therefore any form of gardening is inherently gay.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

I was listening to some good EDM while gardening yesterday. Just grooving around and then saw a spot that needed a bit of hand weeding.

ACCIDENTAL TWERKING

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

all that bending over? getting dirty fingers? getting heads off plants? sowing seeds? hell yeah

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

sowing seeds?

I think this is significantly less gay than you think

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Some people are more versatile than others.......

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If anything I think paying close attention to a lawn is classic heterosexual male behaviour

[–] seggturkasz@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

As a hetero male I can confirm. I live in the northern hemisphere, in mild continental climate. In this time of the year everything dries up. Grass retreat to their roots/rhizomes. Wild flowers curl up their cute little leaves while bees visit their tiny flowers that defy the heat. This shit is lit!

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Then you would think Hank Hill would have a great time at the Gay Rodeo

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 13 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

My GOD that would have been a good episode! Hank gets invited to a rodeo, says no. Tells Peggy, she's like "Go Hank, it'll be fun!" He says he doesn't like Rodeo's, they're just show and not real sport or something else Hank Hill-ish. Peggy convinces him to go, he has an amazing time, all the while completely oblivious to the fact that it's a gay rodeo. Makes a comment in passing that's completely innocuous, but in the context of a gay rodeo makes everyone think he's a power bottom. Gets the nickname "Backdoor Buckaroo," which Hank thinks is in appreciation of how much work he does helping everyone out behind the scenes.

The last day of the rodeo he invites the family and friends and Mr. Strickland to the rodeo, and Peggy explains to him what's going on, right before they announce a special thank you to "Hank 'Backdoor Buckaroo' Hill" over the loud speaker. Queue "ahhhh" scene

[–] Wolf@lemmy.today 4 points 19 hours ago

That's honestly better than every King of the Hill episode I've ever seen.