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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 61 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)

Well this is just... Wrong. The "loneliness epidemic" doesn't just have to do with getting laid. What an absurd take.

Having sex is just a part of it, because lo and behold sex is a healthy and normal part of the human biological process.

However, ask a man what it's like trying to make friends. Or if they made any new friends as of late... Or in the past 5 years. Yes, just friends, not sexual partners.

You'll find a lot of guys past the school phase and into the work/career phase haven't made any new friends. If you're a man with a career then congrats! You probably have money. But no real time to make new friends, get back in touch with old friends, or find someone to date. If you're a man with work, but not a career, you're probably broke most of the time. Too broke to go or do anything.

Even men in relationships, having families, can suffer from loneliness. Yeah, you got a wife, abd maybe a kid... but you still need friends!

An issue with this loneliness problem is that it's not taken seriously, and dismissing it as "Oh it's just a sex thing. Git gud." is exactly that. Not difficult to see how something like the so-called "manosphere" can swoop in; religions, cults, and similar find the lost, stuck, and disenfranchised easy prey.

[–] odelik@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't understand the not making friends thing. I've made a string of friends in the last five years, and continue to do so. And I am a socially awkward, ADHD, anxiety raddled, sometimes annoying as fuck, mess. Maybe it's because I own it and just stopped caring what people think of me and they can fuck off if they don't like me being my genuine self? I dunno, all I know is that I do my best to approach people openly, kindly, and treat them like I'd like to be treated back and it largely works for me.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Maybe that has something to do with it for some people, but generally no.

Most guys can't afford to go places. Or they work so much just to get by that when they're finally done at the end of the day there's just no energy left.

It's a society issue, not a personal issue.

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