this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Show transcriptScreenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (13 children)

It was an example of it conceptually it wasn't meant to be a serious generality obviously.

Also generalities are bad. If people started saying that people with specific traits that you specifically share were always bad people in some way, it would bother you.

Further, you can be bothered even if you are emotionally secure about yourself. Its not always even "taking it personally" because sometimes people have empathy for people who are like them but aren't them and dislike seeing them thrown under the bus.

I myself am not really a guy who is bad with women anymore (I'm not rolling in pussy but I can get around) but I used to be painfully bad about it and I know I wasn't some awful person worthy of scorn and disdain because of that. I wasn't some loser sociopath for wanting sex with women when I wasn't getting any.

And neither are lonely sad sexless guys. I don't like them being mocked because I've been there and I know that it doesn't help to be mocked for a "skill issue" anyway. Mocking them sends them further into a self loathing or hateful spiral. Telling them to be better people implies they are bad people for not having sex or having a girlfriend.

Its like telling fat people they're fat: it doesn't actually help. It usually makes them give up.

That said... them saying they're done with dating doesn't mean they're bad people either. Just like women don't owe them sex, these men also don't owe women their time and effort. Its perfectly morally fine to be done with dating women forever. It wont be pleasant for the guys who try TBH, but its morally fine.

Now, are some of these guys pieces of shit? Sure, but that doesn't relate to their sexlessness. Absolute pieces of trash have sex with hotties and it doesn't suddenly make them good people either.

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