hey everyone. i'll cut to the chase:
be careful of users like https://lemmy.world/u/Sadbunny3. we met 18 days ago and privately messaged each other a few days before exchanging contact information. i thought her speaking style was "odd" but not off. conversations flowed logically, past texts were referenced and thread replied to.. everything seemed rather genuine. this person appealed to me as somebody wanting a friend. we shared interests and then our personal lives. over the next few days i was told that this person wanted to help me out of my financial predicament that i confessed i was in.
i pushed back. i brought up how i felt uncomfortable, how i was disbelieving in their kindness, and they reassured me every step of the way that there are good people out there and sometimes good things do happen. they agreed with me that there are tons of bad actors out there, but they wanted to convey their seriousness to me, and that they weren't pulling my leg.
it took me another day or so to be willing to have them walk the walk. they asked how much my expenses were and started adding up totals. again, i called attention to the fact this was very, very strange. i didn't understand why somebody who knew so little of me valued me so much. in a way, i wanted to believe this was possible. i wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, a new friend was that generous.
lol
lmao
guys
no
as they were setting things up today they told me they were going to ask their accountant to wire me money (this was supposedly a therapist which explained their gaps in responses). i said ok thinking still that this was not going to happen. then, they informed me they had to send a check and blah blahFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...noooo i'm so dumb godddddd!!!!! i said nahhh, not comfortable giving out my address. then they hit me with a "ohhh it'll be an email that is quick, easy, and convenient!" y'know, the way people talk to each other?
18 days. they pursued me for two weeks. i called them out and dialed their number until they answered. silence on the other end; not a single sound other than breathing. i blocked them and came to Lemmy to see if they were trying to message me or others. nope! and guess what? they stopped making public posts 18 days ago. they got me. they didn't need the account anymore.
i was floored. i have avoided many, many scams online. i ultimately prevented my first but it got uncomfortably far. i trusted someone i shouldn't have when there were red flags early. however, i didn't know those were red flags now in 2025. somebody not having the most fluid way of texting can be explained, but now i have to consider that a tell if things don't add up. idk just make sure you are being more skeptical nowadays, please. don't get scammed like i almost did.
I think one of the things that has been really getting me down is that the methods being used to scam people discourage compassion. This has been true before but I feel like as technology becomes more intrusive and advanced it becomes easier to take advantage of people. Where I live, in the U.S., the current administration is normalizing the behavior and removing obstacles and laws that would protect people from such behavior. Corporations are basically scamming people with dark patterns, walled gardens, anticompetitive practices, incomprehensible contracts or EULAs, poor data security/ + hacking events, enshittification, etc.
I'm not a social person to begin with and this leaves me so fucking distrustful of literally everything. Everything has become a scam and every method of communication has been taken advantage of. I need to train my parents to use verbal passwords to make sure phone calls aren't scammers with a voice synthesizer. All it takes is for them to not double check that the email that says it is from their family member is actually from their family member and click on a link. So depressing.
i share your feelings. fortunately for myself, i won't let that happen. i am not becoming more discouraged or jaded or suspicious of people online. i am merely now more aware and have to remember to be increasingly selective. there are always going to be genuine people to encounter, and i can't forget that, but i'm going to have to establish new proofs of existence before actual friendship or personal disclosure or what have you lol. ...but that's me and how i behave. i don't know how others will react. people do become closed off and paranoid and less likely to be compassionate and empathetic when they feel unsafe. this could become very ugly.