No Stupid Questions
No such thing. Ask away!
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Intentionally defacing/altering currency is a federal offence in itself. Though rarely enforced unless particularly egregious or you intend to defraud someone with it (like altering a 10 to be a 100 for example).
Aside from that, any business you attempted to spend it at could and likely would simply refuse to accept it.
At best you'd be left with a bunch of bills that can only really be exchanged for new ones at a bank. At worst you could face roughly $100 in fines+6mo in jail for each bill defaced.
I forgot to put up my, "no wet cash" sign at the beginning of the summer and have been handed a few nasty bills.
I had to make these when I sold cellphones. So much sock money.