this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)
submitted 6 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
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Show transcriptScreenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[โ€“] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Actually it is lumping together the people who self identify as belonging to a "male loneliness epidemic".

No it's not, they said "to all the men out there not getting laid." How dare a man out there not getting laid assume the post is talking about him just because it literally is?

Are there not other men experiencing the same anxieties as you in this self identified group?

I mean, yeah. There are plenty of other men experiencing the same anxieties, and talking about them in threads like this. And then we get people like that lusty argonian lass replying to us calling us narcissists and incels because we had the audacity to talk about these anxieties. And of course, the fact that we don't like being called incels and narcissists is PROOF that we're incels and narcissists.

If it's not about sex, why don't you just make some guy friends, or just friends who happen to be girls?

You know there's more to a relationship than sex, yeah? Like, I assume you don't see your SO as nothing more than a sex dispenser. I also assume you see your relationship with your SO as fundamentally different from your relationships with other friends. Lemme know if I'm wrong about either of those.

Also, the guy you're replying to isn't complaining about the fact that he doesn't have a girlfriend, he's complaining about the fact that people treat him like some kind of weirdo because he doesn't have a girlfriend

Edit to add:

Can a demographic of people have an epidemic of loneliness. If they're so lonely why don't they just be friends?

This completely ignores the heart of the issue, the fact that the mechanisms by which we are able to make friends have largely been taken away from us. Everything costs money now, money that people don't have. There is a dearth of affordable third places, and widespread internet use has ensured that what third places there still are have fewer people than ever to meet.

[โ€“] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today -3 points 5 days ago

No it's not, they said "to all the men out there not getting laid." How dare a man out there not getting laid assume the post is talking about him just because it literally is?

Ahh yes...... The second statement is made without any regard to the context of first statement.

If that's the case, what's wrong with advising men who aren't getting laid to focus on self improvement?

mean, yeah. There are plenty of other men experiencing the same anxieties, and talking about them in threads like this.

Sooo.... If you are all so lonely, I suggest you be friends. You already have a bunch in common. Then you'd have no reason to blame everyone else for your inability to build meaningful relationships! Some how I don't think you're just looking for male companionship.....

You know there's more to a relationship than sex, yeah? Like, I assume you don't see your SO as nothing more than a sex dispenser.

Yeah... But I don't rely solely on my wife for companionship. It's not exactly healthy to be emotionally codependent.

your relationship with your SO as fundamentally different from your relationships with other friends.

Besides a closer physical intimacy.... Not really. My best friend and his wife are very dear to me and I would share anything with them that I would share with my wife.

the fact that people treat him like some kind of weirdo because he doesn't have a girlfriend

Idk, kinda seems like he tries to misdirect all his issues to the fact that he doesn't have a partner. It's really not abnormal to be single, especially now a days.