this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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As a heterosexual cisgender white man, I have to be careful that what I say does not insult or offend those around me. Doing otherwise would be rude. Back in the day, we called that etiquette.
Now, some people might be thinking "well I am not racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever so I never have to think about what I am saying." Good for you. I am approaching 40. When I was growing up, there was no such thing as trans inclusive language. You were an ally if you did not call LGBTQ+ people "fa***t" and super inclusive if you did not use "gay" as a generic negative adjective/adverb (i.e. "The teacher gave us homework even though we also have an essay due at the end of the week? Gay!"). A few years ago, a gay friend (and here I literally mean that my friend is homosexual) called me out and made me realize how my speech patterns on sexuality were super heteronormative.
We have to periodically reexamine how we talk, especially around sensitive topics, and make sure we are not implicitly saying things we did not mean to.
This guy gets it.