this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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It is not my job to manage his feelings. That's caretaking a narcissist and makes them worse. It's ok to communicate (ie "I do not care") and put up boundaries (I won't respond). Further, his main concern was that him not having a girlfriend makes others label him as weird - no. It's that he himself is weird, not anything to do with women. So no, I did nothing to "confirm" his false beliefs, it is not my job as a woman to caretake or cater to his fears or perform emotional labor for men. Grow up.
But nice attempt at DARVO there
You just called him a narcissist for expressing his feelings.
It went from him saying "maybe don't attack men over their relationship status" and you take offense at "not being the caretaker of their emotions" and continue to attack him, while also invoking the very same darvo you're employing...
How are you lacking this much self awareness?
No, I didn't, read again.
No, he didn't, read again.
I'm not going to cater to you either, just letting you know since you clearly have the same vulnerable narcissism lmfao. Go pound sand
You have a real knack for demonstrably defeating your own arguments as you are making them. It's honestly impressive.
Do you even know what narcissism is? You're just throwing that at everyone who cares to point how how wrong you are, regardless of any lack of speaking about themself.
Lol amazing, so much projection and grandiosity in that comment alone. Go away, boring. No one cares.
There's no projection here. You've been throwing unprompted insults at everyone that responds to you all over this thread.
You can stop pretending you're the one in the right, here. No one else buys it.
You continue to lack any self awareness.
"You, you, you." Sure, there's no projection here lmfao. Vulnerable narcs are honestly pathetic and so, so boring.
How many times did you say "you" in that comment?
There's only one person in this conversation projecting
Gee, except what I said was based on substance, I directly quoted what he said and explained the issue, and I provided links elsewhere that support this:
https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901
I also called him a misogynist and I am not a misogynist- so that there seems like I'm just criticizing, not projecting.
Hm, that's him in every comment. I was right. My argument was supported. You just have weird baseless accusations as an attempt to control the narrative so you can continue to get narc supply.
Bonus link on the connection between narcissists and misogynists (ie him, you and his other defenders/flying monkeys): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-020-01193-3
Let's take a closer look at the comment
Actually, the post does imply the thing he says it implies, as it implies that men who don't get laid simply have an unenjoyable and unrelaxing presence. But that's not a form of ridicule? Ok.
Actually, he was entirely correct to assume that the person responding to him would immediately disregard his social anxiety, and they did in fact assume the worst of him by implying that he thinks society owes him access to attractive women, pulling that idea completely out of their asshole.
Do you know this guy or something? Have you ever been an adult male virgin? Social attitudes towards adult male virgins are slightly better than attitudes towards pedophiles. Not having any prior relationships is seen as an enormous red flag the older you get.
Yeah, you're not a mysoginist, you're a misandrist. Same difference. Hey, you know it's really harmful to attempt to diagnose mental illnesses in other people when you aren't a mental health professional and were not hired to diagnose them, right? It's super harmful to assert that someone has a mental illness, and then insult them for having the mental illness you just pretended to diagnose.
But yeah, everyone who disagrees with you is a narcissist who's projecting all of their issues on you, and you're the only reasonable person here
He sets up a classic victim narrative due to his sensitivity to criticism there. It's not reality that society cares to ridicule an average man who isn't dating anyone - for example there's not really any asexual men getting super up in arms about this supposed ridicule in general. Society/women are generally angry and upset with men who are shitty to women and then get mad women reject them.
Here, 2:22 https://youtu.be/VUFqhChmHCc
You enforcing this false victim narrative by running defense for him is doing him and you a disservice.
Why do you think having anxiety entitles him to control others? Why do you believe that his emotional state should be managed by others? That is not how emotions work, you cannot control other people's feelings- codependency 101. He's also playing the victim here. "Not that you'd care" is classic vulnerable narcissist lol.
Yes, here on Lemmy, where he doesn't want people to blah blah whatever he said.
I've fucked plenty of "adult male virgins," it is no big deal, I'm experienced enough for the both of us, and I've fucked people as Daddy too so theoretically I was a pegging virgin at some point (not that dicks per se make someone a man and penetrative sex isnt the only way to have sex). So yeah I guess it was maybe nerve wracking to be an adult male virgin for me, and approaching women and men is definitely scary the first few times, but I did that too. I understand that there's a narrative some men choose to build their masculinity around sex and how sex must be - but sex is a unique art and dance between two people. It isn't a like, algorithmic performance, it's dynamic. The insecurity around sex is a you all thing, not an every guy thing. You can disagree with it and build a different mindset.
Virgins are not in any way shape or form treated like pedophiles, lol wtf?? That is not true. No one goes to prison or has their right to vote taken away or jobs and housing impacted like felons do, because of being a virgin lol. This is what we all mean by making up a victim narrative compulsively.
Yes, not having prior relationships is an issue when older because there are social skills you need to develop in relationships. Generally if you've dated someone else before, you'll have better conflict resolution skills etc. That is a skill people work very hard towards. It can be okay if the person otherwise shows the ability to have a relationship. Often, things like pretending to be the victim all the time, being hypersensitive to criticism, and having narratives like this about women or dating, show that someone would NOT be a suitable partner. These are skills that can be learned though.
Ah, okay, so you actually just don't understand what projection is. Gotchya
I'm fine harming men like this and you, they constantly do it to me and have for years - and you did do it to me, so clearly that justification is fair with you. Further, NPD isnt a "mental illness," like other PDs, it is a belief set where they CHOOSE to believe in delusions, like these victim narratives or misogyny, and the only way to get them to stop and choose to heal, is to point it out and to not cater to them or caretake them. Anything else will make them worse, which harms society and them.
I don't care about hurting men who openly enjoy abusing me, harming me, and form groups to do so both interpersonally and politically, especially if all I'm doing is laughing at their stupid logic. It's not like I said you obviously have a schriveled dick that can't get hard - no insults from me like that, just a descriptive term for what he (and you) are. In fact, I am attempting to be helpful with his issue, because I am directly and specifically telling him what the exact issue is that makes him repellant to women and others. These men have NPD and misogyny - it makes them unsuitable as partners, esp as safe partners for women. What I'm saying is directly related to what he's upset about. It simply doesn't cater to the victim narrative.
Strawman. And btw you have to make a reasoned argument to be considered reasonable, by definition, meaning not arguing with fallacies.
just because you can mimic a grown-up word does not mean that you know how to use it.
Sure, aside from the well-recieved post we're commenting under saying that single men are unrelaxing and unenjoyable people
As they should be, those guys are awful
I don't, and neither does he
"Blah blah whatever he said?" Are you calling this dude a narcissist for having thoughts and feelings and experiences that you can't even summarize?
Proud of u
Yeah it's a good thing I didn't say that. I wonder if I expounded on the point I was making in the comment you apparently didn't read
When??? I don't have a habit of diagnosing other people with mental illnesses or personality disorders
I guess I might start though, this is a wild fucking take. I'm actually helping you by calling you repulsive. Lmao
You literally said that everyone disagreeing with you here was a narcissist
Look, I had a nice conversation with other people and realize this is pointless and not worth my time, and you especially aren't. I quit. You win. I don't care. Bye.
Are you under the impression that anytime someone speaks to you, it's projection?
Are you unable to see that the person who thinks they can just dismiss people on a public forum who point out the blatant issues with their "argument" is the actual narcissist here? I agree people like you are pathetic.
If you were really bored you'd stop responding
You dregs from reddit are so much worse than the Eternal November dregs from Twitter, at least most of those had a couple brain cells to rub together and maybe also one or two original thoughts in their entire life.