this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Its actually wild the shit some dudes say at work when they think they’re in a safe space with other dudes.
At least my women coworkers in Ottawa were straight-up and in my face with their racism.
BFH: talking about Chinese people You know that they just don't value life like we do.
Everybody Else: looks at me sitting at the same damned table
BFH: Oh not you Dianne! We all know you're one of the good ones.
I'm better equipped to deal with that kind of naked aggression than I am at the kind that's quiet and sullen when I'm around but that pipes up when I'm out of the room.
Through the years I’ve been called some heinous things to my face in jest, back where I grew up minorities were few and far between. You learn to laugh it off and not be offended, but then it slowly shapes your view of your own identity, it taught me to be ashamed of who I was, including subconscious racism to my own people which I am still battling with. I realized that to white people I’ll always just be said minority, my friendship just a commodity, and to my own kind I’m too white to relate to, so now I just feel disconnected from everyone.
I had to move half-way around the planet to get in touch with the half of my heritage that I'd drowned out (to the point of being a total banana) to even understand just how toxic it is to be a "visible minority" (and that term by itself now raises a huge number of red flags for me!) in Canada. So now I push back. Hard.