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It's true. For me, to downvote an opinion (and this is what the vast majority of downvoting is) is the virtual equivalent of slapping someone in the face, or telling them to shut up. We don't do it in person, we shouldn't do it virtually.
That's your problem then. A downvote is not a slap in the face. It is a very soft way of saying "I disagree" or "I don't like what you are saying".
And yes, we do that in real life.
There is no expectation that everyone has to agree with you, either offline or online.
If you have such a big issue with downvotes and such an enormous misunderstanding what they are, move to an instance that has downvotes disabled and you will never see a downvote again.
A downvote is softer than a negative comment, and if you think a downvote is a slap in the face, how should I interpret your negative comment? A kick in the face?
Egregious straw man, obviously I don't think that.
Says who? You? What if it were you "misunderstanding" this? I know your version is the majority one, but there are plenty of people who agree with me that downvoting is toxic, hence the existence of downvote-free instances.
The big difference, to bore you with what you must already know, is that a downvote affects in most default configs the visibility of the comment. So it's effectively a mild form of censorship, which IMO is not "softer" than a negative reply. And it's certainly not better than than a constructive negative reply, which, believe it or not, is possible to do.
The best argument I have seen for your case is that downvoting provides an off-ramp for potentially sterile conflict. I.e. people hit the downvote button instead of replying with rage. That's a decent pragmatic argument. But whatever reason I personally manage to control my rage at other people's "wrong" opinions, so I don't think it's too much to ask them to do the same.
It's not a form of censorship, it's a form of democracy.
If you are not ok with a downvote reducing visibility, then by extension you should hate upvotes just as much, since they reduce the visibility of everything else.