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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 4 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't think the guys listening to Rogan and Peterson are browsing Lemmy. At least not yet.

Your advice is essentially making the assumption that lonely men on Lemmy who can't get laid (and want to) are just vapid sex crazed "alpha male" rightwing 4channer psychos. That's not who is on here.

Also your advice isn't advice its chastisement/tut-tutting for a lack of virtue on individual men. This isn't a problem solvable on the individual level. A majority of these men could follow your advice and will still likely end up living miserable romantically lonely unsatisfying lives.

[–] GrackleBirb@lemmy.ca -1 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's not a lack of virtue, it's endemic and chronic mental illness that isn't addressed and which is worsened by excessive consumption of toxic social media like Reddit, TikTok etc - you are correct that crowd is likely not on Lemmy.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I mean, focusing just on the mental illness thing, your suggestions "to take meds that you need not the ones that you want" kind of also come off as patronizing TBH as well.

Anti-depressants have side effects that can directly get in the way of even getting laid (notably lowered sex drive). If someone is trying to get laid then it makes sense that they're avoiding them.

I myself take anti-anxiety meds which lack that side effect and have helped me a lot though.

And if someone is so inclined, as long as they're responsible I don't think taking drugs to enhance one's work out and fitness is intrinsically harmful. Though TBH I do think they're a waste of time for attracting women anyway and absolutely there is a lot of toxic nonsense spread about them by grifters. Women pretty consistently state and demonstrate that they're more attracted lean machines not muscle monsters anyway.

I agree to a major extent about avoiding social media though. Shit eats away at your time for almost nothing in return. I'm only on Lemmy myself during work.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I don't use TikTok. So, if I quit using reddit, I won't be lonely anymore?