this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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The Tumbler OP is 100% not a man, if they were they‘d know not getting laid as a man is very often not a personal skill issue. I know many young men who are conventionally attractive and emotionally mature who just kind of have lost interest in dating even though they generally want a relationship.
I totally understand that between job/school, social media biases, self-worth doubts and economic insecurities, the incentive to navigate through predatory dating apps and toxic left/right bubbles just to meet another insta reels addict is minimal.
Staying single however makes you neither bloom nor gloom, it‘s just okay. Which is something I‘ve learned not to complain about given the current state of the world. Maybe someday I‘ll reconsider…
Assuming a roughly equal number of straight men and women, either a large amount of women are consistently sleeping with a small number of men or the same number of women are not having sex as men. The former is a pretty common incel assumption that would require women to be a hive mind, so imo the latter should be more true. In my experience as someone present in both male and female social circles, women tend to feel a lot more emotionally supported in platonic relationships while men tend to expect more emotional support from a romantic partner than a platonic friend. I think as a result, men tend to associate physical intimacy with emotional intimacy because they aren't really getting either from their non-romantic relationships. You can see this in the way platonic men are so much less likely to hug each other or hold hands or cuddle than platonic women. So to me, OP is actually onto something with their original assumption. Not getting laid isn't as much of a problem for women because they don't expect as much emotionally from sex and romantic relationships since their emotional needs are fulfilled elsewhere. Imo, male loneliness isn't so much a problem with modern dating or with women as a problem with the fact that social expectations placed on men are preventing men from feeling fulfilled outside of romantic relationships and sex. In conclusion, hug your bros and tell them everything will be okay and you're proud of them.
You've literally just explained what the male loneliness epidemic is and its causes. It's why it's specific to men and a women not understand the nuance here is no diffeeent the people not understanding toxic masculinity.
There is actually some overlap in these two issues and it's one of those rare moments where it's women who need to shut up and listen because it's not about them.
The loneliness epidemic is not a personal attack on women anymore than toxic masculinity is an attack on men. Ultimately, the loneliness epidemic is about reduce the male suicide rate. Anyone who takes it as any attack is misinformed and borders on a self absorbed asshole. Might as well just tell these men to kill themselves.
The solution isn't for women to be more promiscuous because that doesn't fix the problem and isn't what anyone is suggesting is regards to this issue.
Casual sex does not cure loneliness for the majority of men. It may offer temporarily relief but even this isn't true for all men.
Someone else pointed out I was really uncharitable with reading your post, just wanted to apologise. I'll leave my crappy response up for some good ol public shaming
The question I posited was: if all signs point to men and women having equal amounts of sex, why is there no "female loneliness epidemic" but there is a "male loneliness epidemic"? I posit that the reason we think of sex as a benefit for male loneliness therefore can't be quantity of sex but men must be getting something from sex that women either don't need or are getting elsewhere. Since scientific evidence points toward gender differences being social and not innate, there must be something women are doing different socially that leads us to think of men as a population as in need of sex or intimate relationships but not women. I'm presenting a neutral logical argument here by way of discarding illogical conclusions, not accusing anyone of anything or implying that the comment above me was accusing women of being too promiscuous. I just wanted to ask the question of why are straight men lonely but straight women not lonely even though logically the two populations must be dating and having sex at approximately equal rates
Yes they responded to and expounded on that point... Did... did you even comprehend their post?
Oh yeah you're right. I thought they were being sarcastic at points where I see they weren't. Sorry about that
It's about making the male feel special. You don't get it, do you?
Everything will be okay and I'm proud of you.