this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.
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It's way more than a sex issue. Getting laid is easy, if you only care about getting your dick wet. Making and keeping friends, especially meaningful friendships, is getting harder and harder. Anyone who reduces it down to "lol who cares about incels not getting laid" is being bad faith dismissive about a massive problem.
I would say that getting laid is easy for most people if they have no standards (or very low standards). I have to be attracted to the person, too, or else it doesn't work for me.
This, it's just propaganda to say it's just about incels
Speaking for myself, getting laid is orders of magnitude more difficult than making friends.
Tip: getting laid, clothes OFF
making friends, clothes ON
Lol somehow that strikes me as a poor flirting technique
I didn't live in the 50s or before the 50s, but I think anything past the television time means shitty, non meaningful, relationships.
Isn't that kind of a self fabricated epidemic though? Seems like if it was just about struggling to make friends, and there's a demographic of like minded people who are lonely, then isn't the onus of befriending each other held by the demographic itself?
I feel like it's a group of people who are bad at pingpong complaining to people about being bad at pingpong and expecting someone else to do something about it. Like, why not just play ping together until your better. An over simplified analogy of course, but my point is if what you say is true, I don't really know what people are upset about.
Not necessarily. Societal factors play a huge role in how relationships with other people are formed. Places where people can naturally make deep lasting friendships are hard to come by right now. And just because two people are lonely does not mean they will make good friends. That would be wonderful if it was true, but there is more to building a friendship than just "I don't have a friend and you don't have a friend."
Our society has a tendency to look at issues like this and say "well that just sounds like it's all their own fault" without taking the thought further. WHY is this happening to so many people? And what can we do to better prepare young men to make lasting friendships and support each other more? The reason this has become more and more of an issue is specifically because people just put the blame on individuals, who don't feel like they have the tools or opportunities to fix these issues. Then all it takes is for right wing propaganda to say "hey here is where the issue is, it's because of feminism! You were right! It's not your fault!" And because they are the only ones telling them that men are moving to the right in droves.
And being aware of those societal constraints also allows people to navigate around social norms. People are more interconnected than ever in the age of technology, most marriages now are initiated through the internet. If people can find a spouse online, I think you can manage to find a friend. How about you pm some of the boys who agree with you instead of wasting your time talking to me?
Society cannot gift you friends...
Being aware that there are problems..... I suggest you discuss it with people who have the same beliefs. Maybe communication may be part of the problem.
What exactly do you think society can do to make you more sociable? Social studies can diagnose a problem at scale, but it's not going to fix interpersonal relationship skills.
Breaking news..... Fascist are willing to lie to naive young men! Crazy.
It sort of can! Think about a very-religious church group or a military squad. When people are forced to spend all their time with a small group, they mostly become friends.
In the not-very-distant past, we lived in much smaller communities with much more interdependence.
I think some of the "male loneliness" talk is because society used to literally gift men with a friend group and a family and now they need to get all these things on their own but a lot of boys have not been raised to develop the skills they need for this new society.
I'd hardly say that a religious group or the military could be classified as a society, they're just organizations within a society. No one is depriving these people from joining the same organizations today
Again, no one is stopping anyone from joining a commune or a village. And even within the organizations and social groups you mentioned there have always been social outcasts.
I would say there is some truth to that, but at a certain amount of one recognizes that about themse there is a onus of personal responsibility required if you want to make changes.
I don't mean to suggest that there's nothing to be done or that having society provide you with community is the solution. Just that it used to be that way and we're in a state of transition.
Right. But I'm saying that previously you were raised into an organization. You pretty much had no choice but to be a member of whatever group your family had been a member of. Now we've got a more free-form society and finding a group takes effort. And because you're not being forced to stay in by societal expectations, it even takes effort to stay with the group.
😵💫
Sure, in your 20s, if that. Pray tell, kind sir, what is your secret?
Be born good looking and then go to places where shallow floozies with no personality hang out.
I've had two roommates in the past (not at the same time) who both had a girl-of-the-week thing. They only used them for sex, and the women they slept with weren't very... They weren't the sharpest.
Never once did they take anyone home who was intelligent or respectable. Probably because women like that have too much self-respect and good standards.
They too told me it was easy to get laid. I was like...... No thank you. I'm not missing out on anything meaningful.
You may have missed out on the latest STDs. Girls with IQ > 100 are too busy to go to places where they can be targets by sex addicts. The truth is that IQ is distributed equally and men who show the behavior you describe are shallow themselves and deserve no better.
Oh for sure; one was a scientologist who was deliberately practicing charisma. Now he travels around the world selling the success of scientology with a perfect fake smile.
The other spent waaaayyyyyyyy too much time looking at himself in the mirror. Figuratively, but also somewhat literally.
Speaking of STDs, the latter guy refused to do sex with a condom. I told him he was an idiot for that; things could go wrong. You could accidently become a dad of a child you don't want, or end up getting a permanent STD. He said I worry too much.
Less than a week after that conversation he got gonorrhea for a whole month. I was smiling like the Cheshire cat the whole time.
uvam acerbam
Treat people as human beings and respect their boundaries, take care of your health and appearance, then suddenly you'll be drowning in pussy (or dick or both or neither whatever your preference)
Very funny. What's the real way?
They forgot to mention that you have to leave your house.
And go to the third places that either you can't afford or don't exist anymore. This shit reads like my grandparents giving me job seeking advice. Just walk in, give em a firm handshake, and you'll be married in a month lmao
My house? I can afford a house?
Pretty presumptuous of you to think most people can just afford a house like that.
Besides, have they heard of incalls? Someone's at the door, BRB
Have you seen the reaction these "male loneliness epidemic" guys have when a girl says they just want to be friends? Sorry, but there's no way you're trying to pass it off as "no it's not about sex guys really they just want close friends and rainbows" with a straight face.
Has it ever occurred to you that bad actors could be hijacking something to use it for their own nefarious purposes? It happens all the time.
Bad actors? Hijacking? The hell are you talking about?
Ever heard of Ben Shapiro? Steven Chowder? Tim Pool? Charlie Kirk? They're all insanely dishonest pieces of shit. They and other shitty fascist conservatives use the loneliness epidemic to try and say, "see? the liberals want you to be lonely! They hate trad wives and want women working!" etc etc etc, as if most women could magically decide to not work in this hellscape economy. As if it wasn't mostly conservatives keeping wages low which removes the ability for single-income homes in the first place.
They're all dishonest pieces of shits trying to divide the populace further. They offer no truths, only convenient lies to further rile people up.
Fully agree.
What loneliness epidemic?
Also fully agree.
What epidemic!? Are you seriously that fucking ignorant while trying to comment in this conversation? Why are you insisting on eating your own foot so hungrily?
Consider providing a source better than a random screenshot from a Tumblr post, then.
Your ignorance does not become my extra requirement to fix.
So no source? Nice try, but it's quite obvious you're trying to dodge the absolute lack of evidence for this pathetic "epidemic".
Your denial only makes you more pathetic.
So... You know literally nothing about this topic at all and just want to lump it all together with incels, got it.
Still avoiding linking that source, huh? There are better ways to try and hide the fact you can't find a good one.
go back to reddit
They never said it wasn't about sex. They want sex and....
Girls want sex and... too
Relationship stuff is just very hard. It's like one of the few real things in this world.
Sure...? how does that fit in with incels and male loneliness epidemic exactly?
How doesn't it? Unless male the loneliness epidemic is only an issue with gay men, but I thought it was for all men.
I said male loneliness epidemic is not about friends. Your counter is "women like sex too!" which yes... are you suggesting they should stop choosing who to have sex with and accept guys to fix this supposed epidemic? I assume not, for the sake of your own mental sanity.
In which case what's even your point? Women like sex, the sky is blue, I ate rice today at lunch...?
What I am saying is that your comment here:
Is not was not the person's argument. They said:
Which is what I was calling out in my original reply to you:
So your comment doesn't address my original reply to the comment, nor your own quotes. Congrats.
No it does, you just can't read.
Seriously, how dumb are you? Honest question