this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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Off My Chest

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1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

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My friend joined a car forum, because she's into cars. She wanted to ask about car components, and the thread got about 14 pages in just a few days, but most people weren't actually answering her questions, they just kept accusing her of being a man because the forum apparently once had someone "pretending to be a woman". They kept calling her he/him, even though she said that she is a she (she's cis). She's 23 and most of the userbase on the mentioned forum are men in their 30's and 40's. She was being civil throughout the entire thing mentioning that it's rude to misgender someone. Apparently the way she talked was too "proper" to be "girly" and people responded that her knowledge of car components was a "red flag" that she must secretly be a man. She pointed out that she doesn't know why they're so obsessed over a random stranger's genitals and they replied back with "you're the one who mentioned genitals, we think you're the obsessed one here". I wish that I was joking. Reminds me of the internet 20 years ago.

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[–] selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Idk, but why would I care what people think I am? Think I'm a dude? Cool. Think I'm a chick? Nice.

It's actually kinda fun trying to be so neutral in your phrasing that nobody got any idea. I've been an active player on a certain long term game and haven't slipped up once in like 15+ years.

Stop caring. Use it to your advantage.

[–] Balerion@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (5 children)

As a person who figured out I'm not entirely cis partially because of feeling exactly this way, I just wanted to let you know you may want to look into non-binary identities.

[–] Randomgal@lemmy.ca -4 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Holy f—

Just chill my guy. Not everyone cares about your genitals on the Internet. It's a pretty normal posture to have.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Not to be contrarian, but the internet is full of people who care a lot about genitals. Pro, con, admirers, haters, artisans, maintenance, genitals are always a popular topic on the internet..

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