this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
89 points (91.6% liked)

Off My Chest

1382 readers
3 users here now

RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

My friend joined a car forum, because she's into cars. She wanted to ask about car components, and the thread got about 14 pages in just a few days, but most people weren't actually answering her questions, they just kept accusing her of being a man because the forum apparently once had someone "pretending to be a woman". They kept calling her he/him, even though she said that she is a she (she's cis). She's 23 and most of the userbase on the mentioned forum are men in their 30's and 40's. She was being civil throughout the entire thing mentioning that it's rude to misgender someone. Apparently the way she talked was too "proper" to be "girly" and people responded that her knowledge of car components was a "red flag" that she must secretly be a man. She pointed out that she doesn't know why they're so obsessed over a random stranger's genitals and they replied back with "you're the one who mentioned genitals, we think you're the obsessed one here". I wish that I was joking. Reminds me of the internet 20 years ago.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I thought I was being perfectly polite in my response. I don't understand how this place can be so full of jerks.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Well this forum is primarily men, so maybe coming here and being a woman, you should have expected that?

[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No, this is just you being mean on purpose - and a hypocrite on top of it.

I don’t get what you gain from acting like a total jerk toward complete strangers who haven’t been hostile to you in any way. There was absolutely no reason to make it personal, but that’s where you chose to take it. I hope you’re satisfied with yourself now. Sure showed me.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm not being mean, I'mexplaining why people are being mean to you. I'm not responsible for your feelings, and this is the treatment you should expect being a woman coming into a traditionally masculine space. If you stuck to the topic at hand, nobody would be correcting you.