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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm trying really hard to not reduce the issue to "women won't have sex with me" but the responses are flooded with this general sentiment.

I think some guys suffer from mental illness and don't have support from the people around them and things like male privilege can diminish their perceived suffering. Even so, I rarely see men actually talk about it.

Like, only on places like 4chan people are brave enough to spew whatever shit's on their mind and I'll tell you that while they can be the minority in a lot of regards, there is something sincere in their unfiltered, crude language that really helps me understand it a little. A lot of it does feel like whinning about sexlessness, but sometimes they make a point and actually talk about their suffering.

It seems like men are desperate for sex and, in pursuit, find grifters who peddle them conservatism. These are the type of people that come to my mind when we talk about it.

[–] HarryOru@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

At the risk of oversimplifying this issue, I feel it's important to make a distinction between "men who are desperate for sex" (if that were all it was, it would be a VERY easy problem to fix), and men who expect to have someone constantly by their side who is available to have sex whenever they want while not having or expressing any needs of their own. Because that's simply not how relationships work. There's a ton of men who think like that regardless of conservative tradwife rabbit holes, and they need to snap out of their little fantasy world.

[–] doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

While I fully agree there is a difference between "desperate for sex men" and "entitled to sex men", I would be willing to bet that one of the easiest groups to convert to the latter... is the former.

Not that I'm one to talk, I didn't fall down the pipeline during a decade long dry spell. So my anecdotal experience would lead me to believe there has to be other factors at play. But still, it's easier to tempt a hungry person to violence.