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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] cyborganism@piefed.ca 38 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

I'm lonely because my male friends turned into incredible assholes during the pandemic, became predatory creeps and started sharing videos of Andrew Tate. So I dumped them.

I miss 'hanging out with the boys' nights eating wings with beer while estiver l watching sports, or having barbecues, or playing board games or video games.

I have a LOT of lady friends now, though. But it's not the same.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (4 children)

🫂

That sucks man. Its never an easy thing to lose a friend, nevermind a whole bunch of them.

[–] cyborganism@piefed.ca 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Man... the dude was my friend since my early teens. We were like brothers. We drifted a bit apart after he moved in the suburbs and had a family. It was hard to hang out with work and everything. He was like the central hub of a group of friends from those early teens.

We had a group chat and new people joined in. Friends of theirs. During the pandemic some became vehemently anti-mask, or anti-vax. It was extremely difficult and awkward when we got back together coming out of the pandemic when it was still a hot topic. One of the guys is a far-right religious type and started pushing Fox News and Andrew Tate clips in the chat and the others either became outraged (in the wrong way, like in agreement with Fox News) or started agreeing with Tate.

Then my best bud became vehemently LGBTQ-phobic. Like it became a conspiracy where they were trying to indoctrinate his kids, 2 girls. Became outraged at trans people and anything related to that.

I tried to talk some sense into them, but it was really not working. They very quickly got deeper into this shit through YouTube videos and their fucking algorithms that keeps pushing more far-right content than anything else. Then it went out of control.

When the other far-right guy posted a Fox News clip about the female olympic boxer who could be disqualified because she was failing a test for testosterone or something, Fox saying she was a trans woman, my friend lost his shit. I didn't have any more energy to talk any sense in him so I just quit the group chat and never spoke to him or the group again.

I spent some awesome times with those guys and have fond memories of hanging out with them. Sharing DragonBalls mangas, playing GoldenEye 007 on the N64 and later playing Halo on the X-Box together. Watching stupid b-movies and awesome anime. Going out to sports bars together. Playing basketball. Etc.

I feel so lonely right now. I don't have any friends like them any more and it's really weighing down on my depression. I only have the one friend from high school left who's normal, but he's flaky and often cancels on our plans or is always 1h late to dinners and events. He also never calls me. I'm always the one calling him. He's not doing too well either so maybe that's why.

Anyway. Thank you for reading through this if you did.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Thats gut-wrenching man, I'm so sorry, that's a horrifying loss

I have a sleep disorder that often leaves me very isolated in spite of my connections- feeling disconnected from anyone around you is brutal, it does rough things to your head

It doesn't help that making friends as an adult is incredibly hard. Most of my friends came from going to events in my local kink community and that has helped, but I've been trying to brainstorm more ways to feel connected to community when my sleep allows. The universalist unitarian churches seem interesting, they're essentially secular (I'm very much an atheist) and are very progressive. It might be kinda nice to pick up a hobby like martial arts or rock climbing but those cost money and I am very broke right for the time being 😅

I hope that in the not too distant future more good folks find their way into your life, isolation can take a very heavy toll 🫂

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