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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 days ago (6 children)

There was an interesting podcast the other day about raising boys in the current era when it seems like many of them are turning to far right grifters and manfluencers

https://player.fm/series/offline-with-jon-favreau/raising-boys-in-the-era-of-incels-maga-and-the-manosphere

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The fact that men are turning to Far Right Grifters is tragic. They're not doing it because they're horrible people, they're doing it because they're being left behind by everyone and only noticed by the Joe Rogans of the world.

If we had a guy on the Left who looked at men and say "I don't know who you are, or what's going on, but you my friend are enough and it's not your fault you're struggling.", we wouldn't have Man-O-Sphere bullshit

Instead we blame men for all of the world's problems, and double down when they side with the only people who aren't calling them incels. People who ironically, are actively turning them into

"They treated me like an animal, so that's what I became." seems to be the mindset between those brainwashed by the Man-O-Sphere

Part of my reason for thinking this is I'm trans and when I presented as a guy, I got treated like shit, nearly got kicked out of college over a bullshit claim (That was thankfully proven bullshit, which is why I said nearly got kicked out) that I stalked a female classmate. But once I grew tits, suddenly everyone was quick to tell me how much I mattered and that it "gets better", people complimented me, people held doors open for me.... Sure I probably make less than my male coworkers, but at least I feel like I matter.

When you're a man, you're assumed guilty because the world sees things through a Pink and Blue lens, anyone Pink is a victim, anyone Blue is an abuser.

And quite frankly, it's not healthy for anyone.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Trans masc friends tell me that one of the things they miss most about presenting as women is drunk girl solidarity in nightclub bathrooms. Until I was a part of that conversation, I didn't realise how much I cherish these moments. Hearing this helped me to understand the loneliness of being a man far more than I did before.

I think that there are men on the left who leverage their platforms to reach out to men as you describe, but the problem is that their reach is far more limited because compassion doesn't sell as effectively as outrage bait; Manosphere content is incredibly skilled at creating a vicious cycle in which they incite anger in viewers, and, having nowhere to channel this anger effectively, it threatens to turn to despair, leading emotionally vulnerable viewers to return to the Manosphere, to "re-up" their rage. In the short term, it seems to offer some catharsis, but it fosters an odd dependence. The compassionate men on the left are more likely to resist this kind of dependence cycle (such as through taking steps to avoid unhealthy parasocial relationships with viewers, even if said relationships would make sponsorships more lucrative.

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