this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Do white men need to walk on eggshells? (infosec.pub)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Iceblade02@lemmy.world to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/46807163

Since this post posted in /c/womensstuff, a community that prohibits male participation, showed up on the front page of All I'm cross-posting it to a space where men can chime in and answer/discuss it freely.

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[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Sort of I do. I really suck at real-time communication. I usually can't even respond to "Hi", there's not enough time for me. "What? Was that said to me? Probably. I should reply. What exactly? Hello? Hi? That's shorter, but repetitive. How loud? Just say something. (Output) Hi. (End of output) Did they hear me? That was too quiet, right? Should I try again? What if they did hear me? FUCK! Maybe next time."

Same goes for when and how to say thanks and sorry. I don't have half an hour to think it out. I need text.

Other things are complicated too, and I often say things that get misunderstood or aren't appropriate on second thought, or I interrupt someone because I thought they were finished, or I am probably not heard, but repeating something for 4th time is awkward because what if it was, but it just wasn't ACKed. But usually that doesn't happen, as I can't manage to time my talking at all.

So in a sort of way, yes.

If not starting some uncomfortable talks is the point, then that's rather just a problem with few specific coworkers.

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (3 children)

This has nothing to do with you being white and everything to do with some other personal issue. It sounds like self esteem/self confidence, but I'm no brain scientist. Thinking this has something to do with the color of your skin will surely lead down a dark path though. Maybe go see a speech therapist or the like. They might actually be able to help you with some of those perceived issues.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I kind of forgot this was supposed to be about me being white dude, rather than just the "walking on eggshells" at work part, so it makes sense it makes no sense in that regard.

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Ah gotcha. Yeah I certainly saw some early red flags. That makes me feel a little better! Must be something that really bugs you if that's what you focused on in the post. Hope you work through it or accept it as a personal trait. Good luck out there!

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Sounds like a neurodivergent person having to mask when dealing with neurotypicals. Masking is a kind of walking on eggshells.