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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)

submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago

I think it’s good to discuss our feelings. Men have socially reinforced the exact opposite amongst themselves and had it imposed on them by others. We’ve all heard “boys don’t cry, man up” etc. I worked with a young man who thought he was mad all the time. We broke through that, he was having so many emotions he didn’t know how to label because he simply wasn’t encouraged in that direction. That, I think, is incredibly lonely.

Stack on top of that growing up behind a computer screen, surrounded by manfluencers giving questionable advice, having your formative years recorded and picked apart…not being able to make those early awkward social interactions because of covid for a lot of young men as well…yeah.

Of course I think it does get conflated with a lack of intercourse or whatever. Young women are feeling abused by their lack of rights and they view what would traditionally be awkward young love/courtship as a threat. Incel ideology used to be fridge, but there are a disturbing number of young men embracing these ideas. All while women’s reproductive options are limited, making intimacy more difficult for everyone.

So there’s this historical precedent of not opening up, but boys started to learn not to do that anymore. Just in time to get shut down. It’s not girls fault, it’s not boys fault, it sucks. But I don’t see it improving until intimacy feels safe for everyone again.