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Any people here orphaned with living parents? what did your life turn out like? What were some of the stuggles, or some of the positives? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I do a lot of therapy groups, and one thing I have to state sometimes to people is that I was orphaned with living parents. I wasn't raised by my biological parents, and turned 18 as a ward of the state. I have not met many people with this set of circumstances, so I want to ask if anyone here is comfortable sharing?

There are obvious negatives, I was homeless a number of times from 18-24 years of age. Stuggled a lot financially and finding my footing in life. I also have shit self esteem. Now in my late 30s, I never realized how much it effected me to not have an adult care about me as a child, well into adulthood and I still struggle. Also, holidays were rough until a few years ago.

The positives are I don't have to deal with ass hole parents, dramas and such, and I don't ever have to worry about their end of life care. I also learned what not to do when I became a parent myself, and have dedicated my life to ending generational trauma.

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago

I've also found it very hard to relate to people my age because they usually have some sort of relationship with their family

Wow this hit home.

I remember in my early to mid 20s really really struggling with this too. It's still tough today, albeit a bit easier to deal with, but it was such a stuggle especially in the young adult years. I wouldn't even date a potential partner if they had good parents, because I felt some ways about it. I remember working retail, and basically having a fit inside one day because I over heard a teenage gril fighting with her mom about her mom buying her stuff. I never once went clothing shopping with my mom, or another woman and the girl was being so ungrateful. I pretty certain I cried in the bathroom for a time that day.

I don't miss feeling that deep pain. Healing is such a good feeling. Therapy helps me a lot too. I still go on a regular basis to cope with stuff. Im glad you've that resource too <3