Ask Men

Loads of shit! I'll throw a few examples to the, "They just want to say n*****!" crowd.

Never heard "Eskimo" used in a derogatory manner, not once. Social media now tells me it's verboten. There was a guy posting really interesting pics on r/historyporn. People berated him for using "Eskimo", every post. He was like, "Yeah, I call myself an Eskimo, some don't like it, but Inuit can be equally insulting as we're not all Inuits. Most of us don't care." What? Am I supposed to discern your tribe?! Correct me if you don't like it, fine.

"Oriental" was another weird one. Ah fuck! Can't say that anymore? It was never an insult! "Rugs are Oriental, people are Asian!" OK, I get that, I'll change it up. Asked my Filipino wife just now, "Who are these people and why do they care?" "They're white kids on social media. Forget I asked."

Don't start me on pronouns. If you want me to call you anything on the top line, we good. If I make a mistake, I'll correct. But I refuse to call you "faer". BTW, I catch that prompt on 20% of job applications. Weird. A preferred name is one thing; Mike vs. Mikey. vs. Michael, Elly vs. Elaine, Douglas vs. Boss Hogg, whatever. Asking someone to call me an elf is quite another. LMAO, can I call you a "fairy"?

Another good one that seems to have fallen by the wayside, like these bullshit made-up pronouns, "latinx". Go fuck yourself. That sounds like some bullshit white people made up like "African American". Ever heard an Hispanic person use that? Nope.

Speaking of, I asked black coworkers in the 90s what they thought of "African American". "Man, shalafi, nobody gives a shit." They all seemed a tad insulted I would ask such a dumb question. Meh, they put up with me because I was asking honestly. Still, they were shakin' their heads. "What are these white people telling themselves?"

I'm afraid to compliment a women, no matter how low-key. "Hey! Kick-ass shoes!" Or, "What's that color of that nail polish? My wife might like that." Or, "Why all y'all suddenly wearing cornflower blue polish? Did I miss something on TV?" Yeah, that's fine 99% of the time, but the last 1% step is a doozy.

Perhaps worst of all, if you're not a white male, you automatically get the benefit of the doubt for a social faux pas. We white guys are supposed to be hyper-tuned to all the latest words and fads. We mostly get by just fine, if we're not jerks, but that one accusation makes us guilty as charged, no jury needed. Eggshells.

tl;dr: Social media is not real life, but it certainly informs it.

(Sorry OP, you asked, I answered.)

The most revealing part is that they are self aware enough to know that they are so racist/sexist/whatever else enough that they can't speak without slipping slurs and stereotypes into what they are saying. Like they can't just refrain from doing it, they need to worry that they will just blurt it out because their views are just that fucking awful.