this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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Don't be mean. I promise to do my best to judge that fairly.

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on the male loneliness epidemic (infosec.pub)
submitted 3 days ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
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Show transcriptScreenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 66 points 3 days ago (3 children)

and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid)

Weird post, that literally just isn't a thing at all. This reads like a thinly veiled attempt to try to put down people they perceive as "not getting laid". This kind of "skill issue" attack rhetoric actually contributes to the male loneliness epidemic

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's as ironic as it is frustrating that so many of the same people who'd be outraged at the notion of a woman's value being determined in any part, by whether she is a virgin, will, gleefully and without irony, consider virginity not only a valid, but a go-to insult to use against men.

Double standards are so irritating.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also all the "progressives" who use penis size as insults. Like, are you trying to promote toxic masculinity?

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Especially frustrating when they try to justify it because it's aimed at a 'bad guy'. Doesn't change the fact that penis size is as immutable as height, and is therefore completely idiotic to use as basis for insult.

Not to mention the complete lack of empathy and consideration for all of the decent guys who have penises that are 'small' too, who are catching strays for no good reason every time that's used as an insult.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

...height, and is therefore completely idiotic to use as basis for insult.

Boy do I have some bad news for you, "manlet" is also perfectly valid in their eyes.

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

It's not news to me, my choice of height for the analogy versus something like eye color, which also would have worked, was deliberate.

I'm extremely wary of anyone who insults or compliments others or even themself, based on any immutable characteristic.

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yeah, right? Sex isn‘t even a huge aspect of why I‘d want a relationship anymore. It would complement it, sure, but if the relationship otherwise is just an expensive, instagram story bullshit, body insecurity fuelled mess where eating disorder meets self-worth anxiety…fuck no!

I just want someone to hug and cuddle with atp if I‘m being real. Does sharing this on lemmy make me “weak” and “un-manly” in the eyes of society? Maybe, but that‘s part of a problem I honestly don‘t care about any longer.

[–] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 13 points 3 days ago

To me, it reads like they're just extrapolating the statements from the loudest group of people who tend to yell online about the male loneliness epidemic (incels that blame women for their celibacy) out and assuming that's the majority opinion, which actually tends to be more referencing actual loneliness in general. Either that, or they just worded it a little badly.

I do agree that the rhetoric can be a bit detrimental though.