this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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Off My Chest

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My friend joined a car forum, because she's into cars. She wanted to ask about car components, and the thread got about 14 pages in just a few days, but most people weren't actually answering her questions, they just kept accusing her of being a man because the forum apparently once had someone "pretending to be a woman". They kept calling her he/him, even though she said that she is a she (she's cis). She's 23 and most of the userbase on the mentioned forum are men in their 30's and 40's. She was being civil throughout the entire thing mentioning that it's rude to misgender someone. Apparently the way she talked was too "proper" to be "girly" and people responded that her knowledge of car components was a "red flag" that she must secretly be a man. She pointed out that she doesn't know why they're so obsessed over a random stranger's genitals and they replied back with "you're the one who mentioned genitals, we think you're the obsessed one here". I wish that I was joking. Reminds me of the internet 20 years ago.

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[–] UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago (13 children)

Not trying to be sexist, but why does it matter shes a woman on this forum in the first place? It sucks, but there are places on the internet where just stating you're a woman gets you extra attention or help from desperate men. So maybe the forum is just tired of people coming on, stating their a woman whether true or not, and getting help way quicker than if no gender was to be said at all?

I know it paints me in a bad light but whatever, there is no reason to go on the internet and state your gender unless you're looking for extra attention. Your friend could have just asked the question and left out gender talk completely. There was no need to state she was a woman.

I know this a pretty sexist example, but viva la dirt league put out a gaming video explaining why some guys are over it.

[–] fushuan@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (10 children)

Did you read the post? They misgendered her unknowingly and she corrected them, which is perfectly normal. That then became 17 pages of misgendering.

I'm not trying to say guys acting that way was the right course of action, I was just giving my two cents of why it may be happening.

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