That's the best way I can describe it. Just neverending. Which sounds obvious but the actual experience of always having to parent, phew...
I'm not having the best day today. He's on summer break and hanging with me all day. We did okay yesterday but today it was just a domino of me feeling disappointed in myself that the house is always a mess and probably a level beyond that, like there's too much stuff to fit. But my own level of non-cleanliness has rubbed off on my kid cause there's no proper place to put his stuff. So I started cleaning then asked him to do some small tasks but I was feeling resentful for how he seems to just drop things wherever. I get it, you also got to teach them how to clean up and implement chores etc. and thus adds to the relentless grind of having to have these long term parenting plans but also try to be present in the moment and enjoy things and somehow have endless stores of patience. Today I definitely haven't. I've lost my shit and yelled and just let things domino out of control into a terrible grouchiness. I know some days suck and we get up and try again. Just wanted to get it out I guess. No advice needed. Just ranting to rant.
It's not meant to be, man.
I remember being a kid, back when people had kids early and grandparents were both still around and healthy enough to help. I used to spend full weekends at my grandma's, or at friends' places or with aunts and uncles and other relatives. And a bit later kids would get together and roam the streets in packs.
We made it so kids only get to hang out with their parents and must be under constant supervision and it's an entirely absurd proposition.
Yea, my mom was the most hands-on grandparent but she passed a couple years ago. The rest...very hands off. She was great when he was little but the funny thing is I don't ever remember her playing with me when I was a kid. When did we switch our mentality to just being so actively parenting all the time?
It's to do with isolation. Those in power want us isolated and afraid.