TransLater

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A community for trans folk who transitioned or are transitioning later in life.

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Coping with the early stages (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 3 days ago by ncc21166@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/translater@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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How have you all coped with the early stages of medical and social transition? I'm in an in-between stage where I'm going to seriously start failing at boymode soon. I hate my old, gravelly, dysphoric voice and avoid it at all costs. I can't avoid certain undergarments at this point either, because a lack of support is a bit painful. I'm in the unfortunate position of not being able to even run errands because my ex-coworkers all go to the same local places and I'm not publicly out in my industry yet. The flip side is that if I went for femme-presenting, I'm quite visibly trans and it's entirely my face. There isn't much to do about that for some time yet.

I'm wondering how others go about finding a balance for being themselves, getting through a day, and not having to have this constant internal and external struggle of "who am I today?".

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[–] lwhjp@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Started last year at 40. I just jumped in at the deep end, buying and wearing only clothes marketed to women. I started with reasonably androgynous outfits and experimented with more femme stuff at home. To start with I had no idea what I was doing, but trying stuff out and copying other women has slowly gotten me to the point where at least I'm kind of happy with how I look.

Voice also, I watched a few videos to get an idea of the basics and just started doing it 24/7. I feel a bit bad for my coworkers who had to put up with a frankly terrible voice at first. Listening to recordings I think it sounds pretty good now.

And you probably pass a lot better than you think. I've certainly had times in the past where I was obviously read as a woman and didn't quite believe it. But now I can kind of see it myself, and nobody bats an eye when I use the women's bathroom or whatever.

[–] ncc21166@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago

I'm also in my early 40's. I'd love to just go full-time, but my work situation isn't giving me the option (yet). Hopefully I can do that soon, but the place where I live is less likely to be welcoming. I also have the safety of my spouse to consider, and I place them above anything else. That's why I waited so long to even come out in the first place. It's a tough and lonely situation, sometimes.