ADHD

Hey! i recently checked for adhd after i got kicked out of uni, and was in a horribol state of depression. Was insanly hard to fucos and honestly nothing felt worth to live for.

I always had issue being motivated and fucos for anything in life, and tryed to talk to my parents about it when i was around 14-16. It went like this "why is it so hard to be motivated for school and how do people able to fucos all the time", my parents just said "its becuse you dont have any motivated for school, dear". Then sometimes i dint wanna do stuff any my parents said "why dont you wanna do this", and i answared "i cant fucos and this is so booring". meanwhile most people dont have any issue with it. my parents just said "its becuse you game to much, thats why its harder to want to do stuff".

so my whole life i just said to myself that im not motivated and gaming was a problem. Even gaming i had a hard time to do, but as long as something keept my brain busy, it was alright. and my parents just blamed motivation. speed tro some few years, and i hoped motivation would come back into my life, boom, it never did :P, and i blamed depression when i was 19-20, and tryed to get away from it, news flash, it dint :P.

so then i just kinda dint do anything for 4 years, and see if anything would improve, it dint. my parents fought i was going to univeristy, so i kinda had to lie for a long time, but i know i would probly get the same answar as always "your just lazy, or you have no discipline". so, i kinda had no one to talk to, and i bet theres tons of people out there.

finally when i was 24 years old, i got the newletter that i was kicked out of uni after failing 3 times on same exam, and as everything, i couldnt care less :P. i just hoped to die peacefully away in some corner not doing anything, so last thing i was going to do before sue-side, was contacting psycolog. I had like a small thinking i had ADD, and maybe depression made it much worse. but i dint really chase to find out, instead of just doing the lazy strat and think the same as my parents "its just motivation". but ye, if its that hard, better off just trying next life.

so ye, i went to my psychologist about my depression and ADHD, and boom, mid to high ADD, +depression :p. atleast it explains everything, and i felt stupid why i dint chase it earlyer, maybe becuse i fought adhd was mostly just hyperactive problems, and ADD was a minor issue that can easly live with (which you proboly can no problem). but idk, maybe i have to little motivation ahah. There was also a letter i got in my mailbox about my insurance, and what it covers, and it stood, "doesnt cover any problems with Auditory memory problem". and honestly it gave me tons of insight what went wrong in my life, and auditory memory problem can often be misdiagnosed with ADD. BTW, i was 24 when i first saw that diagnose! my parents knew it all along.

Getting my medecine very soon! so exicted to try it, hopefully life is tolerateable after!