this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2025
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Pacemaker but it's an electrified thong
What a weird timeline... The US is going to outlaw vaccines at the same time that insurance companies will start refusing to pay for surgically implanted pacemakers and force everyone with a heart condition to wear electrified butt plugs.
Automatic defibrillators everywhere will be reduced in size to a package smaller than a beer can, and CPR classes will teach you the proper way to spit on the AED before shoving it into someone's butt.
I'm sure you could easily have a separate E-stim Plug in the AED kit, like how some have different pads for children and adults. Also pretty sure I could rig that right now with a few wire nuts and some tape.
I hate that I immediately thought of a practical way to accomplish that before I thought "WTF!?"
Welcome to the engineering club. When I gave a size for the plug version of the AED, I took into account the current state of battery technology and also how many amps you might possibly be able to pass through the skin of the anus without doing severe damage.
So it's normal to have all these random projects in my head all the time?
So far I've stopped myself from putting a "discard vapes here" bin outside of a couple businesses so I can leech them for batteries... I keep thinking of things I could do, but I know I'm just going to collect a bunch of trash and have another project in the pipeline.
Normal? Not at all. But there are others out there, and we have so many unfinished projects that we are working on too.
I like the vape idea, that is fucking brilliant. And it's probably for the best that you restrain yourself, because if you don't, then it will get really expensive... Once you can power all your small projects and have a "limitless" supply of batteries, you'll realize all of the things you can do with a shit ton of batteries, like you can buy an entire kit to electrify a bike, motor and all, for like $150 on Amazon. But then you'll need a charger that can grade your batteries so that you can build packs, and you'll need a spot welder, and nickel strips, and kapton tape, and some thick wire, and decent microphone and a cell phone camera stand and... What? The mic and camera stand? Well you might as well document the project and put it on YouTube. If you're lucky it could take off, but if not you can at least write it all off on your taxes as business expenses. What stuff would be worth writing off? Well the computer and the 3d printer of course. You're going to need those to design and print the battery case, and also edit the videos for YouTube...
And if all of that seemed logical to you, then you might want to get tested for ADHD, or Autism, because you might be on one or both of the spectrums, like so many of us here on Lemmy.
Why would you turn down the opportunity for free batteries? You'll be helping reduce waste too...
People will probably throw all kinds of random trash you don't want in there though...