I want them to know how I feel, I'm tired of holding it in. People always tell me to let it go, but I just can't, I hate unresolved business. How am I supposed to feel when the very same person who told me to kill myself is now dating a good friend of mine. Everytime I talk to him, I'm brought back to that moment. She says she's sorry and that she regrets everything, but I don't fucking care. She didn't change as far as I'm concerned, ever since she came back everything's been fucked. How am I supposed to feel about my piece of shit former roommate who fucked me out of almost $1500 because he was "too depressed to work" but had no problem e-begging for fucking gas money to go on some dumb ass road trip. Motherfucker I'm depressed, I'm mentally ill, yet I still have to work to eat and keep a fucking roof over OUR head. This same asshole has the fucking nerve to act all high and mighty anytime we disagreed on something. Fuck them, fuck everyone, I'm fucking tired of holding it all in. I don't care if it hurts them to tell them the truth, a part of me wants it to hurt. I want them to know how much I fucking hate them
Yeah, I don't let it affect my other relationships, it's just that I don't really have anyone to talk to about this stuff really. I see a therapist, and she's great, I've had more progress with her than anybody else, but after everything that's been happening, it feels like I lost a bunch pf that progress plus she's pretty booked as it is so I can't see her as often as I would like to, I'm also seeing someone and I do open up and talk to them about how I'm feeling, but I tend not to unload everything on them, they're stressed out about enough stuff as it is and O don't want to add to it. Also to clarify, I didn't loan him the money, he stayed at my place didn't pay rent for like half a year (plus he was eating some of my food). I should've kicked him out sooner, but ai was worried about seeming like an asshole. I've always been a doormat.