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Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 week ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world

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So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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[–] Iceblade02@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This comment has received several reports, but I am not going to remove it – it is polite and to the point in answering OP's question.

Yes, honesty can feel hurtful to some, no, it's not breaking any rules of Lemmy.world or this community (in my view as moderator).

Remember to be excellent to each other.

/Ice

[–] erin@piefed.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's not "the truth," that's blatant transphobia. That is a statement that trans women aren't "real" women.

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't think that identifying that someone else identifies as trans is transphobic, and they certainly didn't say that trans women aren't real women.

I dont need to go further than the 6th word to know the answer. You know it. We know it. Sorry. Just face reality.

I read this in a couple of ways. First, it could mean that the dating pool for trans women, when compared to cis women, is incredibly small. Second, it could mean that by virtue of being a trans woman, the op has to expect some amount of experimentation on the part of her partners, and in romance more experiments fail than succeed.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

And there could be other factors not related to being trans as well.

OP could be ugly, or clingy, or "mean when drunk" etc.

I'm a heterosexual cis man, ugly as fuck, and in my decades of dating, I'd say 90% of my relationships fail after a couple of months. I could have attributed at being a bit overweight, or being brown in a relatively white region, or being an immigrant. But I've seen others with my characteristics succeed where I fail. My odds improved with introspection and willingness to adapt.

OP, if you're still reading the comments, we need more info.

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