this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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When I was on dating apps, I specifically filtered out anyone with religious beliefs (other than Buddhists, because they seemed inoffensive to me).
Got a selfie with a cross on your necklace? Nope. Same for women with photos with guns, anyone with an American flag, and any woman posing leaning against the hood of a sports car. There are telltale signs that we have different values. Honestly, I appreciate your advertising that we aren't compatible and saving me the effort finding out on my own.
We sure have different values
Perhaps. I think guns are something to be handled with care, not something to enjoy as a hobby. I think sports cars are a waste of money because, realistically, you'll be driving on city streets with speed limits in most cases.
I have a comfortable sedan because the pan taught me that I can't rely on ride-shares and mass transit in a once-in-a-lifetime (we hope) emergency. I barely drive it. It's a tool. And I don't own guns because I think they're dangerous and I'm prone to bouts of depression (I'm bi-polar). Anyone who thinks these are cool or part of their identity is not someone I want as a life partner. Even without being judgmental about these things, they signal different priorities from my own.
Now a someone with a full bookshelf in the background is another thing entirely. Or playing musical instruments. Or out in nature. These are things I value.
You know, as reasonable as it is, the last paragraph does sound totally corny. I'd be fine dating someone who's not as much of a nerd as me, or is a nerd in a different way like movies.
Especially the bookshelf part, since in my experience, a lot of people with piles of books don't read them (I gave the worse ones away), and making a dating app pic in a library isn't the first thing that comes to mind.
Yeah, and most of the ladies leaning on the hoods of expensive sports cars don't own those cars.
I haven't read most of the books on my shelves because I'm very ambitious about reading. I read a lot, but I buy about twice as many books as I finish because I'm interested in so many topics. I'm just describing how a person portrays themselves, not whether they've read every book, mastered an instrument, or hiked all the best trails.
Oh, and here's one that I forgot. I never engaged anyone who took a pic in a mirror in a public bathroom. I don't know why people do that. Set your phone on a timer pretty much anywhere else and take a full body pic with a background that's anything else.