The Onion

Starmer, being Starmer, attempted to regain control of the narrative by calling an emergency press conference, during which he solemnly declared, "We cannot allow Britain's moral fibre to unravel at the hands of lonely men and women with unlimited data." As per usual, he delivered this statement from a sun lounger in Puerto Rico, completely topless and drinking milk from a coconut.

I feel like if you're the Prime Minister of the UK, you've got an obligation to do the British Virgin Islands or at least Jamaica if you're doing the Caribbean, not Puerto Rico.