this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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Speaking as someone who delivered a lot of pizza in a previous life, I can confirm that after being exposed to enough bullshit from customers plus the constant threat of getting jumped and robbed (even from idiots who claimed they were "just joking around"), us delivery drivers absolutely were ready to throw down at any instant, for just about any reason. The counter staff probably less so.
Two dipshits arguing with each other in my lobby (i.e. not arguing with us) wouldn't be one of them, though. That's how you can tell this is fake. I'd have just tossed both of them out on their asses and ate whoever's pizza it was that just got canceled. Deliverator don't give a fuck what your problem is.
I could write a book on the ways people found out after fucking around in the various restaurants I worked at. The statute of limitations has probably come up by now...