this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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I'm a Christian pastor happily married to an atheist, AMA.
How did the marriage ceremony go, who officiated the marriage, was it a religious leader or another type of official. I am really curious because I want my Christian GF to have the wedding of her dreams and I am not sure how to approach the topic. I have no issues but I am scared a pastor or similar might have because I am atheist
I live in France, where it's illegal to have a religious marriage without having a civil one first. As a pastor, I have to ask a proof that the people I religiously marries are already married civilly. I agree theologically with that, as protestants don't marry people, they bless an already existing marriage.
So we had both. To be honest, in France, civil marriages are quite dull: it takes 5 minutes, the mayor or their deputy reads the law, asks for consent, makes the people sign, and it's the next couple's turn. It's very administrative. There's a little decorum, but just a little.
So, even for people without strong belief, the ritual makes the marriage something special. It was the case for my spouse, at least. She's atheist, but she respects my faith, as I respect her atheism; she knew it was important for me, so that made it important for her.
I would warn you though: if your girlfriend is Catholic, you'll have yo promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. If your girlfriend is evangelical, they may ask you to testify of your faith. I'd say to discuss this with her first very openly, and test the waters with her priest/pastor. 90% are cool people, with whom you'll be able to be open, and they won't refuse you as long as they don't sense that you opposes the whole thing. 10% are assholes; I'd advice you to look for an other one; if it's the one your girlfriend wants, lie to them (as long as your girlfriend agrees with that). You don't marry for the officiant, you owe them nothing.