this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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As a man with adhd, I do this all the time to men and to women, and I've been accused of mansplaining. I'm working on it, but I promise it has nothing to do with sexism. I just think everybody needs to know all the details so rhey can reach the same conclusions as me.
And for what it's worth, I really appreciate when someone does the same for me on a topic I don't know about. But I understand how frustrating it is when someone does it on a subject I do know about, so I always try to gauge knowledge before info dumping. What catches me off guard is when someone isn't interested in learning. They don't know everything, and they are just OK with walking through life, knowing they don't know something.
Point is, I really do appreciate the grace presented in the post. I don't mind if you're being condescending if you forgive me for oversharing.
I will happily let someone go on about something that excites them because I get it. I feel like there are at least two different points being made here and each camp will not listen to the other.
I will hide out in my studio sometimes to get peace from my boyfriend. It's not that I don't love him. I adore him!! He's treated me better than any other man I've been with.
But we don't have conversations. It's a long standing issue with us that we are always working on. I listen to his monologues. Even if he has good intentions and asks about my day, most times I can't get even halfway through something I need to share off my chest before it distracts him and I'm listening to him for 3 hours. Sometimes he'll even ask, "you know what I mean?" "You get where I'm coming from?" And I'll take a breathe to speak aaaaand shut my mouth on it because he doesn't wait for a response.
It can be overwhelming but we talk about it respectfully in the end. I lie, sometimes I get overwhelmed and exasperated. Then he will knock or text me to talk things out. Sometimes he gets upset when I need alone time and then I go to him and we talk. We ultimately apologize to each other. He's an amazing man and he calls me his goddess. We put up with each other's bullshit because we are both imperfect and still come back together in the end and absolutely adore each other.
The difference in this particular post though, is my spouse wouldn't respond the way this dude did. Then again, I don't hinge my entire opinion on what woman on the internet says and what another man responds to it with. The warp and weft of gender, sexism, and neurodivergence, cannot be wrapped into one neat package of absolutes.
Everyone has their opinions but they can also all be at least a little right.