this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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i don't want to be here anymore. it's been 35 years of torture and torment and fascists are winning. i'm tired. life isn't precious, there's no meaning, so let me fucking end my own story.
Yeah, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through. We want you around though, that I can say for sure.
Don’t let the fascists decide your destiny, directly or indirectly.
some of us experience negative events routinely. people call it "bad luck" but that implies some kind of superstition. i don't have bad luck. however, it appears i statistically experience negative outcomes far more frequently than people i personally know. it has to happen to somebody. our outcomes exist on a gradient of two probable states; positive or negative, so when you physically "do something" you become your own tool of measurement by interacting with your surrounding environment. you then "record" the outcome observed in our universe through your action: positive or negative. see? no luck. it's just math and shit.
my point is, i am what i am going to describe as quantum unlucky. i don't understand it and it just is what it is, but i am fucking cursed by this universe to experience the shittiest shit as a dumb American. i am beyond exhausted. i cannot convince myself to stay here any longer. i merely exist because i am too afraid to end it. it isn't necessarily the fascists that would do me in, because i have had a life of misery before i became aware of their existence, but they certainly have made everything more bleak.
Do you have some community around you? The US looks like a sad place to be any kind of minority right now. I’m certain there are many others feeling the same things as you. You’re not alone.
not really, unfortunately. i live in a small-sized city (50-60k residents) near two bigger ones, so while we have a decent amount of resources there isn’t much specific to what i need. and i don’t have many local friends either. i do live with my partner and his mother, so i am fortunate there.